A Night In November
by taylorandmacster10
Summary: A rare weekend off for Jay Halstead turns into a night he would forget, but one that Will Halstead and the Intelligence Unit would dream to never remember. It is a story of tragedy, determination/stubbornness, and family. A Jay whump story.
1. Chapter 1

**Before we begin this journey, this is my very first FanFic story. I've read many incredible works on this site for awhile now and felt the urge to get off the sidelines and dive into this writing world. I was inspired to write this piece while watching baseball (oddly enough) and I hope you enjoy it. Please feel free to review this. I'd love to hear feedback. Here we go.**

Chapter 1- A Big No-No

It was a Friday evening unlike any other. The Intelligence unit out of the 21st District had a free weekend. All paperwork was caught up and earlier that day, they had wrapped up a tough, intense case that required chasing a perp into a subway stop. The suspect was finally brought down when the team surrounded him, guns drawn, and a hidden Detective Jay Halstead placed a terrifying laser red dot on the suspect, point blank. The events unfolded like something out of an action movie. It was badass. It was perfect.

So now, as the team was shutting off the office lights and heading down the stairs, the obvious question was raised by Adam Ruzek: "Everyone have weekend plans?!" Of course, this was a no-no thing to do. The minute someone asked about plans, a case was sure to crop up early Saturday morning. The team playfully groaned and scolded Adam for bringing this up while quickly climbing into their cars, driving off into the city.

It was an early November night. The leaves were in full color and the temperature had reached light to heavy jacket mode. Some lingering Halloween decorations were still on the lawns of homes and children were being called in from their afternoon football scrimmage. Jay Halstead was on his way to meet up with his brother Will. Another odd set of circumstances: both brothers were free for a night. Normally, Jay would be working on a case till way after Will's normal bedtime or Will would work the graveyard shift. However, on this night, Will had somehow lucked into a shift that got him off at 6pm. The brothers had decided to meet up at Will's apartment for a hockey, tacos, and beer night. Will Halstead and Natalie Manning were a few weeks from getting married and Jay wanted to carve out some time with his older brother while the two of them were still bachelors.

On the way to Will's, Jay drove in silence. This was something he did often as a way to wind down and process the day's activities. He thought back to how the team could've solved the case sooner or without the need to shut down an entire subway stop. He also wandered if his brother would bring up wedding plans. It had been a consistent topic lately and, being honest, Jay was slightly over hearing about venues, food, and seating arrangements. His brother had developed a 'groomzilla' syndrome and Jay was not sure why. It was weird to see the groom freaking out over details while the bride-to-be tried everything to coax him. Jay was laughing to himself about this when it all happened.

He was in a left hand turn lane waiting for the light to turn green. His blinker was on and he waited a second or two after the light turned green before beginning his left hand turn. As he crossed through the intersection, a heavy truck flew through the intersection and hit Jay's vehicle hard on the left side. Jay saw the oncoming car for a second before his head struck his driver side window, hard. He remembers the force of the car hitting him straight on and he remembers hearing a crack. The accident occurred in seconds. However, in a split moment, Jay Halstead went from thinking of brother with a scanner in Bed, Bath, and Beyond to being enveloped into a world of darkness.

He turned the key in his lock and set down the to-go back from the taco restaurant. Will had forgotten to put the beers in the fridge before work and so he decided to throw them in the freezer, hoping that would speed up the chilling process. Having accomplished that, Will ventured to his closet to find some sweats and a hoodie. Once he had accomplished the perfect lounging attire, he sat in the living room and looked over his honeymoon itinerary. He knew this trip had to be perfect. Would Nat enjoy a week long trip on a private beach in Figi or an adventurous time in southern Italy? He spent countless hours researching before narrowing his selection to an ocean side cottage in New Zealand. He spent the next hour going over last minute arrangements and narrowing down restaurants. He wanted to treat Natalie to a week of sight seeing, adventure, and a foodie's dream.

It wasn't until well into the hockey that he realized Jay hadn't arrived, let alone called to let him know he was running late. Will called his brother and the phone rang to voicemail. Odd. Maybe he was still working on a case? Perhaps he had stopped by his place to pick something up? He called again and got the same result. He texted and the message was never read. Before going into panic mode, Will called Voight to see if he knew where Jay was. Voight said he saw him last when they left the district. Will called Antonio Dawson and got the same answer. He decided to head over to Jay's apartment to search for him when his phone lit up and began to ring. It was Maggie from Chicago Med.

"Will, are you home?"

"Yeah I am. What's going on? Did something happen with one of my patients? I'm in the middle of something and can't come in. Ask Ethan to handle the problem."

"Will, I need you to sit down. It's about your brother." The panic began to rise. Maggie was always one to find that perfect balance between hope and reality. Even in a dire situation, Maggie found a way to calm loved ones down with a positively hopeful tone. Her tone now was grim, almost veering on emotional.

"Your brother was in a serious car accident and suffered a brain injury. They just took him up to surgery. Do you need someone to pick you up?" Will sat in shock, wondering if he'd fallen asleep. Jay was on his way over. He had just spoken to him a few hours ago. This had to be a nightmare.

"Will? Please say something. Jay's in good hands, but you need to get here. Now."

"I'll drive. I'll be there in 15 minutes."

He hung up and went into autopilot mode. He ran to the closet and grabbed some shoes. He turned the TV off and grabbed his keys. As he was opening the front door, Will paused for a moment and uncharacteristically, cried. He knew the uncertainties of a brain injury. He knew the risks during the surgery and the recovery afterwards. He was a surgical resident turned ER doctor. He knew the drill. But, this was different. This wasn't an unknown patient that just entered the ER. It was his brother. He knew the fight his brother was in for, but he also reminded himself that Jay was as stubborn as anything and could find a way to pull through. Will took these moments to let it all out. He knew from the moment he crossed the threshold till he walked his brother out of the hospital, or until he returned to his normal way of life, that he would be living and thinking for two. He didn't know what the next hours, days, or weeks had in store. But he knew he had to be strong and ready for whatever lied ahead. So after a minute of tears and fear, he collected himself, walked into the hallway and locked his apartment door. _Here we go. Hang in there, Jay._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2- Hang In There

 **Thank you so much everyone for your thoughtful and incredible reviews. I'm so happy that you liked the first chapter. Hope you enjoy the next one!**

On a typical day, the drive from Will's apartment to Med was an easy fifteen minute drive. In the late hours of the night, similar to this night, it should take Will no more then ten minutes to get there. When he turned the key in his ignition, the radio was broadcasting highlights from the hockey game earlier that evening. Will didn't hesitate to mute the radio. He didn't need a reminder of the alternative situation he could've been in tonight. Now was not the time to wish for what wasn't going to become reality. His brother was in a battle and he needed to just get to him.

Isn't it weird and frustrating that every time you need a red light in order to adjust or do something, the light seems to never turn red? Or when you're running late and you need all the lights to stay green, it's almost a guarantee that you're going to hit every light? This phenomena was occurring tonight and Will was moments away from throwing laws and caution to the wind and just flooring it. Instead of acting on this temptation, he decided to find a way to distract himself from the agonizing, never ending drive to the hospital.

 _Please pick up. Come on._ On the fourth ring, a groggy, tired voice spoke on the other end.

"Will?! Is everything alright? It's almost 11 and I have to be at the hospital in nine hours."

"Nat. I'm on my way to Med. Jay was in an accident and suffered a brain injury and is currently in surgery." To hear himself audibly say those words felt like a punch in the gut. It's one thing to be told of a serious accident, but to accept those words and relay the information to someone really drives things home. As Will was talking to Natalie, all that came from the other end of the line was a gasp followed by silence.

"Nat?! Please say something. I need help knowing what to do once I walk through those doors."

"I'm getting up and heading over there. I can call my in-laws and they can stay here till the babysitters arrives. Just give me 20 minutes to get things together." This is one of the many traits he loved and adored about his fiancé. In a crisis moment, her number one priority was finding ways to comfort and fix a problem.

"Babe, I love you but I need you to stay there. You just came off a twelve hour shift and I can't be the reason your tired at work tomorrow."

"Will, I have been raising a child all by myself. Solid nights of rest are things of the past. You don't need to go through this alone."

"I know and I appreciate your willingness to jump in. But I have to do the initial first steps on my own. I just wanted to hear your voice and maybe get one of those famous inspirational speeches from you?!"

"Will, you and I know there isn't a step by step guidebook for how to deal with a family crisis. All you can do right now be there for him. As the situation progresses, you'll know what to do. You've got the guidebook in your hands, it just takes time to find it and flip through the pages."

At last, the hospital was in sight. Will maneuvered his way into the doctor's parking deck and pulled into a spot. "I just pulled up. I'll update you as soon as I know more."

"I love you, praying for you and Jay. I'll see you when I come in."

…

As he walked through the main entrance and into the ER, a sick, eerie feeling crept over him. More than anything, Will wanted to turn around and go back home. Perhaps there was a misunderstanding and Jay was waiting for him back at his place. He scolded himself for thinking this and kept walking till he saw Maggie and Dr. Charles at the reception desk. Maggie practically sped walked over to Will and offered him the warmest, comforting hug before facing him.

"I am so sorry about this. But he's in the best hands. took him up around 9:30 so it shouldn't be much longer."

"What OR is he in? I want to observe." At this point, Dr. Charles stepped in.

"Will, I can only imagine the worry and anxiousness you're going through right now but I wouldn't advise going to see him. The doctors are doing everything in their power to help Jay and we shouldn't add pressure to them by observing. Why don't I go with you to the private waiting room and we can stay there till Jay gets out of surgery?" As much as Will wanted to protest, he knew the right thing to do was wait. Despite the sudden urge to jog a few flights up to the OR level, deep down, he knew the best thing to do at this point was stand back and let the right people do their jobs. With an eventual nod, and a reassuring pat from Maggie, Will and Dr. Charles mounted the elevator, selected the surgical floor, and the ascension to Jay began.

The journey to the waiting room was quiet. Dr. Chalres took on the role as friend and tried various ways to ease Will's dread. He would ask Will questions about how he and Jay were coping with the recent loss of their father. Will would share the odd, but funny, story about Jay and the two actually found a way to smile and laugh. However, the longer they sat in that room, the quieter it got. The longer the wait, the more dire the situation was becoming. While he wasn't aware of the severity of the injury, Will had a time limit in his head: 3 hours. Based on his book knowledge and first hand experiences, that's how long a typical operation on the brain should take. It was nearing 1:30am and still no sign of . And so Will and sat and sat and waited, hoping for the best outcome, but silently preparing for the worst. Neither one wanted to say what the other was thinking. At 2:30 in the morning, Will prayed. _God, we haven't spoken in awhile but I need your help. Please watch over Jay. Please help him get through this. We're all that's left of this family…_

It wasn't until 3:45 in the morning that the waiting room door quietly opened and Dr. Abrams walked in and sat down. Will sat up in his chair while Dr. Charles sat back and quietly listened to the report.

"We had to perform an emergency craniotomy to stop his intracranial bleeding and alleviate his intracranial pressure. With the amount of swelling and bleeding he had, it was a difficult procedure. We were able to find the bleeder and fix it. However, despite correcting the bleeding, his swelling barely subsided. We had no other option other but to perform a craniectomy and place an ICP—intracranial pressure—monitor to observe his swelling. We used a catheter and placed it on the inside wall of his skull just below the incision site. We considered using a bolt but didn't want to place more trauma and stress on his already fragile skull."

"Will, I wish I had better news. I wish I could tell you that he'll make a full recovery. But I have to be honest, his odds are slim. If he wakes up, there's a good chance he could have permanent brain damage. He's in a deep coma right now and is barely responsive to painful stimuli. These next 48 hours are going to be crucial. After that time, we'll reevaluate. He'll be under close observation for the next few days in the NICU—the neuro intensive care unit—with brain checks every thirty minutes. Your brother is young, strong, and a stubborn fighter. While his odds are slim, I would bet on him to be the one that defies the odds. Do you have any questions?"

Will sat in silence, staring at nothing on the wall. Fear was finding it's way into his view finder. He felt like curling up in the chair and sobbing till he was dehydrated. Passing out looked lovely right about now. But he returned to the mindset he took on in his apartment foyer: he had to live for two people. Jay was unable to think, speak, and live for himself right now. Will was his first line of defense in this life and death battle. Will ran through the situation diagnostically.

"What was his Glasgow coma rating when he came in?"

"In the field, the first responders rated him at an eight, but by the time he arrived in the ER, he was at a solid three." Will internally winced at this. The Glasgow coma scale is a test administered by doctors and first responders to help determine the severity of a brain injury via determining the level of someone's consciousness. The Glasgow coma scale measures eye opening, verbal responses, and motor response and rates a patient's reactions on a number scale. Results can range from three to fifteen and the higher one's score, the less severe the injury. Brain injuries are classified as mild injuries being in the thirteen to fifteen range, moderate injuries between a nine and a twelve, and severe injuries coming in at an eight or lower. The fact that Jay began at an eight and fell to a three so quickly reveals just how bad his swelling is and the bleeding was in his brain. _Jay, why can't things be simple with you_.

"How long till you reattach his bone flap?" Crainectomy is the removal of a portion of a patient's skull and is left off the skull till brain swelling goes down.

"Ideally two to three days but we'll let the ICP monitor help us determine when the right time is. We'll also remove the monitor during the procedure."

"…Ok. When can I see him?"

"He should be coming out recovery shortly. I'll send one of my nurses to get you when we've moved him to the NICU."

"Thank you, Dr. Abrams."

"You're welcome. We're going to be great friends by the time this is all over." And with that, got up and nodded to Will and Dr. Charles before exiting the room, leaving the two men with more questions that no one could confidently answer.

"Will, what can I do to help."

"I, uh…..um, I need to make a couple of calls before the nurse comes, would you mind if…"

"Of course. I'll be right outside if you need me."

"Thank you. Thank you sitting up here with me. I'm sure you've got other things to do instead of sitting up here with a worried me."

"Will, there is nothing more important right now then helping you get through this. We're going to help Jay get through this. All of us. This is a situation that cannot be solved by one person. We're all thinking of you and your brother. Please don't hesitate to ask for help." This was a phrase Will was repeatedly hearing tonight. He knew that when a situation arose, he had a tendency to keep things inward and tried to solve everything on his on. But he didn't think it was that obvious to people. Jay was also a sufferer of this trait. It must be a genetic thing that runs in the Halstead family. God bless genes.

"I will. Thank you again." On that note, Dr. Charles left the waiting room and Will began reaching out to people, updating them on the latest information regarding Jay. Once again, he got a tired voiced Natalie who quietly listened to everything, letting Will finish the information before asking where she could be of assistance. Will told her that just being an open ear was exactly what he needed at the moment and told her to go back to sleep. Now came the harder of the two calls.

"What happened?"

"Voight, I didn't want to call you until I knew everything, but earlier tonight—or last night. What day is it?!—Jay was in an accident and suffered a traumatic brain injury. He just got out of surgery a few minutes ago." And from there Jay gave the entire run down of everything he knew. From the Glasgow scale number to where Jay currently was, no detail was left out. Voight was silent the entire time, simply grunting or exhaling. When Will was finished, Voight's response was very unlike his character.

"How can I help you?" It was this moment that made Will truly appreciate the mysterious person that was Hank Voight. Underneath the rugged, harsh exterior was a kind soul. A person that cared for each member of his team and would stop at nothing to protect them. He could've told Will that he was on his way or could've ask how he could assist Jay. Instead, he first thought of Will and the side of this situation that was impacting him. Jay was being taken care of, Will's recovery was beginning as well.

"Pray. Send positive vibes."

"Done."

"Also, can you tell the team? I would like it to be me to tell them but once I get to Jay I don't know if I'll have an opportunity to…"

"Consider it handled. Hang in there Will. Jay's gunna find a way to fight this. The kid is the stubbornest person I might know. He's got a lot of fight left in him."

"Thank you. I'll update you when I can."

While it was only fifteen minutes, to Will, it felt like a century. During these minutes, Will was left with his knowledge. He felt that information was becoming an enemy. Why couldn't he be clueless and positive all the time? His knowledge was trying it's best to quash every ounce of hope in him. Also, he was pacing the waiting room so much that he was convinced the floor had sunk a good couple of feet. It was while attempted to reassure Will for the umpteenth time that a soft knock sounded and a woman stuck her head in.

"Ready?!" _This was it. Don't falter now, Will._

He had visited the NICU a handful of times before to check in on patients or seek updates. The department was shaped like a large circle, almost oval like. There were seven rooms that met at a point called the nurses station. The floor was dimly lit to encourage sleep, comfort, and to avoid stress on fragile brains. Numbered 1-7, the first room was closest to the sliding doors while the fourth room was the farthest away. When Will walked through the doors and into the wing, the department felt darker than normal; quieter than normal. There were families and friends in all the rooms crying, sleeping, or speaking with doctors while fixed on their loved one lying in the bed. Dr. Abrams' nurse guided Will to the room across the walkway: room 904, Jay's room.

"Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No thank you. You've been a big help already."

"No problem. It's cases like these that make me love what I do. Hang in there, Will. We're all pulling for him. And with that, she left Will standing outside the sliding glass door; the only thing standing between him and Jay. _Deep breath. Here we go._

When your brother is a badass Ranger turned quick-witted detective, you form a mental image of him being tough and built and perfectly coordinated. However, the body laying on the bed in front of Will was the polar opposite of that mental picture. Will stood at the doorway for a few minutes, taking everything in. Starting at the top, Jay's head was covered in surgical dressings and Will noticed the two lines snaking out from under the padding on the left side of Jay's head. He didn't linger long on those. He knew what they were doing, but didn't want to see the visual reminder just yet. From there he moved on to the large, purple bruise on the left side of Jay's face that stretched from his nose to, Will guessed, the incision site protected under the padding and gauze. Jay was still intubated and connected to a ventilator. Will also took in the number of monitoring leads and IVs, the leg wraps encouraging blood circulation, and a catheter poking out at the end of the bed and into a bag on the side. If Jay was awake, he would be protesting that. But at this moment in time, he didn't get a say. It was necessary in his recovery right now. A young, blonde haired woman, named Emily, was sitting at the end of Jay's bed recording readings from the numerous monitors surrounding the head of Jay's bed. Will noticed how calm she was. Despite sitting inches from a person who could die in the next couple of days, her expression was that of calm, relaxed, and dare I say, smiling. Will fed off those vibes. Will had interacted with her in the past, but this was the first time he'd be spending a great deal of time working with her.

"Hey Will, I was updating his chart but I can leave and give you a few minutes."

"No no, that's ok. You do your thing, I don't mind the company right now." Will walked into the room and pulled up a chair on Jay's left side. Now observing Jay, Will felt…relief. Which is not at all what he was expecting. After countless hours of talking and stressing over Jay, here he was. Now that he could see and touch him, everything became real. This was not a dream. This was going to be his reality for the next few months.

There is a difference between watching someone sleep and looking over a person in a coma. With a sleeping person you can sense their is a person, a soul under those eyelids who is taking a breather, but is still in the room. Those who are in a coma appear to be a lifeless figure. There isn't any expression on their face. There aren't movements indicating they are in the room. Looking at Jay, Will knew the soul, or core of Jay was not home right now. No, he was somewhere far away at the moment. His return was going to take a bit of time, but Will clung to that. Jay, the person he knows and loves, would somehow navigate his way back to him.

"Jay, you kind look like crap. If you didn't want to meet up with me tonight, all you had to do was call." It was the first thing that popped into Will's head. It was so inappropriate that it became appropriate. Will knew Jay would've smirked at that. Will noticed that Emily quietly smiled at his comment before returning to her work. She got up to leave and stood at the doorway for a moment.

"Will, I'm going to be the one administering Jay's observation tests every thirty minutes. Hang in there. He's needs someone in his corner right now. I'll see you in thirty."

Emily quietly slid the door closed and left the two brothers alone. Will noticed the cot situated on the other side of the room. How thoughtful of Emily. While people's focus would naturally be on the patient, she had thought of him. She knew he wasn't going to be one that left for the night. He turned back to Jay and grabbed his limp, cluttered hand.

"Jay, as much as I'd love to see you open your eyes right now, I need you to fight in there, even if it means sleeping for a long time, I'll be here when you're ready. Love you brother."

 _48 hours, thirty minutes at a time. Let's do it._

 **A longer chapter, hooray! The chapter next will deal with the team and the beginning stages of Jay's recovery. Thank you again for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3- You Look Like Crap

 **I am so humbled by all your feedback and responses. Through this journey, I have developed a great appreciation for all the writers in this little world. You guys are so talented and make this writing process look so easy! I have mad props for those who can write 10,000+ words per post. When I started to mentally piece this story together, I had main points and characters that I wanted to hit throughout the storyline. I hope by the end, you guys are happy with how everything turns out.**

He shut his eyes while rubbing his temples. It was nearing five AM and the ability to fall asleep was virtually impossible. So after a few more times of tossing and turning and pillow adjusting, he finally surrendered, shuffled downstairs, and headed towards the kitchen. The night before, he had done his usual shut down routine of clearing out dishes in the sink, inserting a K-Cup in the Keurig, and shutting off lights and rechecking door locks. He was thankful for this habit because all his sleep deprived self had to do was select 'brew' and a few gurgles and squirts later, a cup of steaming hot coffee was ready for his gulping. He rested his elbows on a counter top and sipped in silence. The sky had that slight hint of light creeping through. The darkest of dark skies was vacating once again and a navy sky was appearing. He glanced over at the collection of pictures hanging on his kitchen wall across the way. Panning left to right, there were various pictures of smiling, laughing, proud faces staring back at him. A photo of him and Camille on their wedding day. A young couple, crazy in love and unaware of the what the future had in store for them. He moved onto a photo of Justin and himself on a beach somewhere in Florida. Next to them was another picture of Justin, his daughter-in-law Olive, and his precious grandchild, Daniel. A twinge of sadness hit when he thought back to those times. Things were progressing in the right direction. Justin was becoming a great father to Daniel and a wonderful husband to Olive. They were happy and in love. They reminded him so much of Camille and himself at that age. What he would give to have those times come back.

What really got to him was a photo of the Intelligence Unit. It was a photo of everyone at Molly's celebrating Adam and Kim's then recent engagement. The engaged couple were in the center of the group laughing at each other. To the left of them was Kevin Atwater pulling his usual prank: photobombing a Kodak moment. Alvin Olinksy was in the back of the group, flashing a rare smile. Mouse was sitting at a bar stool looking like a deer in the headlights at the camera. The person taking the photo startled him by yelling, "SMILE!" milliseconds before capturing the moment. Everyone had a laugh afterwards and knew that photo was the one. And then to the right side of the photo was them. Arms around each other's sides, flashing ecstatic grins, it was easy to see just how in love they were. A couple that met at the right time, fell quickly and madly in love, but saw life's cruel circumstances intervene. He encouraged her to take the job. She had to because the Chicago chapter of her life was up, but he missed her. He missed that driven, courageous, caring soul of hers. He missed that raspy voice that always knew what to say, even if it meant causing trouble. Interestingly enough, he missed their fights over her dating Jay. At first, he greatly disliked the idea of two detectives from the same team dating. However, over time, and Erin's pushing, he saw that they were meant for each other and finally gave his approval. After a few more moments of wishing for things that weren't coming back. He placed his coffee cup in the sink, picked up his cell phone, and began making calls. It was time to let the team know.

Technology wasn't exactly his friend so it took a few attempts to get everyone on the same conference call. Atwater first spoke by poking fun at Ruzek.

"Adam, what did we all tell you?! Never ask about plans. Ever. I was looking forward to a weekend of nothing."

"Well sorry. Maybe people should fill me in on the ever changing do's and don'ts of this team."

"Guys, we don't know if it's a case yet. But seriously Adam, really?!" Kim saw the opportunity to poke fun at her ex-fiancee and took it.

"Everyone, I was woken up at the crack of dawn on a Saturday morning. This better be good. Someone tell me what's going on?" Hailey Upton was not a morning person, especially on the weekends.

"It's not a case," Voight broke in. This caused all conversations to cease. Without saying anything, they all knew: a team member was in trouble. Voight was not one to go into great detail. He had a great ability to know exactly what to say without saying too much.

"Early last night, Jay was in a car accident and was hurt pretty bad. He's at Med right now recovering from brain surgery. It's not looking good." Silence echoed for a few seconds followed by some sniffs and nose blowing. It was Antonio who first broke the silence.

"Where's Will? How's he doing?"

"He's there with Jay now. He's the one that contacted me. He's trying his best to stay strong for Jay. As we all should be."

"When can we see him?" Kim asked after she collected herself.

"That's for Will to decide. While we would all like to be there, we're at the mercy of Will's expertise and observations. We need to give them some space. Will will let us know when the time is right."

"What do we do?" Was questioned by Atwater.

"Pray, send positive vibes, and be there for Jay when it's time. He's in a serious fight right now guys. We've gotta find ways to get him through this."

"This all my fault. This wouldn't have happened if I hadn't jinxed the weekend." Adam's comment made everyone suddenly guilty. Their jabs and jokes felt cruel right about now. He had to know they were just kidding. It was Voight who said what everyone was thinking.

"Adam, this is in no way your fault. Were you the one that ran your car into Jay's? You did not cause this. Jay wouldn't hear of it. Accidents happen. Don't even let guilt creep in. Get some rest everyone. I will let you know if I hear anything new." And with that, Voight hung up the phone and began his morning routine. His team was hurting right now and he had to be ready for whatever this next battle had in store for him. But first, there was one more call he had to place.

"…Hey this is Erin. Sorry I didn't pick up. Please leave your name and message and I'll get back to you ASAP…..*beep*."

"Erin, it's Hank. There's something you need to know…"

…

Life for the Halstead brothers went from a twenty-four cycle day to thirty minute intervals. Will had no clue whether it was 9:30am or pm. All he knew was that if it was 9:25, that meant an observation check was happening in five minutes. Another new aspect of their life was small victories. For people without a major brain injury, a victorious day meant getting an A on a difficult test or running 26.2 miles. But for them, if Jay's finger twitched or eye brow adjusted during observations, that was the biggest victory ever. The observation test consisted of Emily asking Jay to open his eyes and waiting for a response. Early on in the recovery process, both Emily and Will knew he wasn't going to obey the command, but they needed visual proof that something was trying to work in there. If Jay didn't react to Emily the first time, she would take out a pen light and wave it over his eyes, asking the same question again. The third time through, she would either gently press the point between his eyes or rub her knuckles on his sternum to elicit a pain stimuli response. Emily reminded Will that Jay may not react to anything during some of these tests. She used the analogy of knocking on someone's front door. If you knock on someone's door and they don't answer, then they either don't want to see you right now or they aren't home. However, if you go back two or three times and get the same response, then something is wrong.

The first couple of tests were difficult. Jay would almost always get asked the question three times and his responses would be very minimal. After each time they got a response, Will would let out a big exhale. There was a particular round in the fifth or sixth hour that it took Jay a good twenty seconds to react and Will blurted out, "Ohh my word Jay you stubborn ass. I was about to kill you there." He immediately covered his mouth with his hands and sat there wide eyed, frozen. Emily just started laughing. This is what life was like during the early hours of the recovery. It was during the tenth hour of observations that Will noticed a beautiful brunette standing outside Jay's room during his latest test. She gestured toward the sliding door, asking if she could come in. Will threw up a one second finger and waited till after Emily was finished to go greet her outside. Natalie and Will shared a long, comforting hug and ended with a quick, but passionate kiss before the obvious question was raised: "How's he doing?"

"Pretty good considering. His responses have been a little sluggish but they're there. He just moved is pinkie finger during the last test."

"Will, that's great! He's doing so well so quickly after the surgery. Have they said anything about when he's going to get the bone flap reinserted?"

"Not yet, but his ICP is holding so that's a good sign. Dr. Abrams is supposed to be checking in this morning so hopefully he'll give us a ballpark idea. Thanks so much for coming up here. I'm trying to not remember that I'm…here. On this floor."

"Will, but you are here. I know it's difficult, but this is a floor where miracles happen. Jay's going to get on that elevator alive. I just know it." As Will was giving her another hug, an alarm started going off. _No._.

Emily raced back into the room with Will and Natalie right behind her. "His heart rate just stopped." She pressed two fingers on the side of Jay's neck and had a puzzled expression.

"His pulse is strong. What on earth?…Wait, hang on." She pulled Jay's hospital gown down to his waist and found the problem.

"One of his monitor's fell off." After she reattached the monitor to its' wire, the alarm stopped and everything resumed as normal. A collective sigh of relief was exhaled by all. Natalie's pager went off.

"I've got an incoming trauma. I'll come back up and see you when I get a moment. Do you need me to bring you anything? I could get someone to drop something off."

"I'm good, but thank you. Go do your thing. Love you!"

"DITTO!" she yelled as she walked down the hall and onto the elevator. Will situated himself back in his normal perch. Ten hours down, thirty-eight to go.

…

It was during the thirteenth hour that Dr. Abrams knocked on the Jay's door and slid it open. Will was trying to get some rest in between tests and the knock at the door made him practically jump out of his cot and tumble onto the floor. Dr. Abrams had a dry and direct demeanor. He reminded Will a lot of Gregory House from the iconic show _House M.D_. His response to startling Will went right in line with his character.

"Watch yourself. These rooms up here are full." Will responded with a half hearted, "HA."

"Looking over his chart, his responses are in line with what I expected. I'm encouraged with how he's progressing but hope to see more before we hit twenty-four hours. His swelling looks good as well. If it cooperates, we should start to see the swelling go down soon. He's on steroids and anti-coagulants to help with the ICP. My guess is that we'll be reattaching his bone flap in forty-eight hours, should everything respond to the drugs.

"What happens if it doesn't?"

"Then we'll either up the drugs or accept that he's not waking up. But we're not there yet, Will."

"Do we have any idea what kind of…deficits he's looking at?"

"Based on the area of the impact, the swelling and bleeding, I'd say he's going to experience memory loss, balance issues, motor skills could be compromised, and trouble with speech and personality traits. But that's just a guess. As amazing and complex as the brain is, it likes to keep its' secrets. We won't know until he wakes up and is conscious for awhile. Deficits could even develop weeks and months after this. We just don't know at this point." Will just nodded and took everything in. While he was hoping for everything to eventually return to normal, which they still could, there was a great chance that that wasn't going to transpire. He just kept reminding himself that as long as Jay was alive, that was enough. He'd help get Jay through this, no matter what the other side looked like.

"He's off to a good start, Will. Hang in there. I've gotta go. See you guys later. Question: when did you last get some shut eye or even a meal? You look like crap." And on those words of encouragement, Dr. Abrams marched down the hall. Will couldn't help but think of him as a brilliant jerk. Gregory House, reincarnated.

It was during the fifteenth hour that Will saw the scar for the first time. Emily had just wrapped up another test, which resulted with Jay moving his right big toe, and was now changing out his dressings. Jay is normally a well kept and groomed kind of guy. It was a rarity to see his hair disheveled or facial hair uneven. But as Emily began to unravel the gauze around his head, Will was having another one of those nightmarish feelings. Jay's hair looked like he had rubbed it against a pillow for hours and hadn't bathed in a couple of days. On the left side of his head, from his hairline to well past his ear and up near the center of his head, there was a gap of missing hair from where the surgeons had to shave it in order to reach his injured skull. The incision was the shape of an upside down U, traveling from the left of his ear to over the ear and ending close to the base of his neck. With everything exposed, Will saw the thin, clear tube that was draining fluid and the small black wire that was tracking his brother's brain pressure. But the thing that really got to Will was the indent on the side of Jay's head where a piece of skull should be. It hit him that the only thing between him and his brother's brain was his dura mater and skin. Will kept audibly saying, "it's ok, it's ok," over and over again. He wasn't sure if he was reassuring Jay or himself at this point.

"There's a little bit of redness around the incision site but that's ok for right now. The suturing looks neat. Dr. Abrams did a good job." Emily looked up from her patient and noticed Will casually wiping his eye before nodding in agreement.

"I'm sorry," he half laughed. "I told myself I wouldn't cry and yet…"

"Will, there's nothing wrong with crying. It's a lot to take in and process. I'd be more worried if you didn't ever cry. It's ok to be upset and sad about this. Wanna know a secret?!"

"Sure."

"I shed a few tears the first couple of times I had to do this. I feel for my patients and their families and all they are having to go through. I'm pretty sure they thought I was crazy for crying over a stranger, but in that moment, I wanted to do everything in my power to make their experience as manageable as possible."

"Thanks, Emily. Don't ever lose that heart." She simply nodded and went back to applying fresh padding and gauze. Their little heart-to-heart moment was interrupted by Will's ringing phone.

"Will, the paramedics that brought Jay in are here and just asked for an update on him, what do you want me to tell them?"

"I'll update them. Can you ask them to come up here?"

"Absolutely. They'll be up in a few minutes."

"Thanks, Maggie." While the paramedics were under the impression that they were getting information, Will was expecting some from them as well. He had been looking forward to an information swap since he pulled into his hospital parking spot. He met them at the elevators and ushered them into a waiting room that was just outside the NICU entrance. Will had briefly interacted with these guys before while transferring a patient from gurney to hospital bed, but had never put names with their faces. The first paramedic was a young, pale complexioned man who introduced himself as something that rhymes with shout. The other paramedic was an older gentlemen with a rather sour, grumpy personality. Will wondered how these two became a duo.

"Hey guys, thanks for meeting me up here. We're in the middle of brain activity checks and I just can't pull myself away from him."

"Not a problem. How's he doing?"

"Pretty good considering. He's almost sixteen hours post-op and is responding well. I'm optimistic he's gunna make it."

"Call of the year. When we rolled up, I thought he wasn't going to pull through and.."

"-WHAT my partner means is that we're all rooting for him. We've met Jay a few times on the job and we hope to see him back out there soon. If there's anything we can do to help, please don't hesitate to ask." _Gosh they're an interesting matchup_. Will shook off grumpy paramedic's comment.

"Thanks guys, I really appreciate it and I know Jay does. There is something you could do to help. Would you mind telling me what happened?"

"Well, we arrived after the fire fighters and they were underway with getting him out."

"I understand. Just tell me everything you know."

"Sure. When we pulled up, we saw Squad 3 surrounding a truck that looked like it had rolled a couple of times. The truck was 25, 30 yards away from the car that impacted it."

"Oh yeah, it was awful. The driver who hit him was drunk out of his mind. Couldn't even stand up long enough to walk ten steps and when he tried to blow into the breathalyzer.."

"-Again, what my partner means is that your brother was hit hard and the police arrested the gentleman who caused the accident. But he wasn't our concern. When we arrived at Jay's car, they were quickly getting him out. He was awake at that point and was beginning to panic. Joe Cruz told us that when they first found Jay, he was unconscious but breathing. It was when they were getting the driver side door off that he woke up. They tried to get him to cooperate but he just kept moving and mumbling something. It took Severide crawling into the car and holding his hand for him to finally calm down. Severide quickly realized that Jay was seriously hurt and time was becoming our enemy."

"What do you mean by that," Will asked?

Rhymes with shout took a breath before answering. "Kelly said that Jay's eyes were moving, but weren't coordinated. Both were moving in different directions. Also, his speech was really slurred. It's something we won't forget." Will looked down at the floor, feeling sick. It really was and is a miracle that Jay is still alive and not lying in a morgue.

"From that point, it took them about two to three minutes to free him and hand him off to us. We were amazed that he only had minor cuts and bruises. Aside from the large welt on his head, you wouldn't have guessed he had just been in an accident. It was on the way to Med that things started going south. Jay kept trying to free himself from the gurney, assuring me that he was ok. But moments after that, he had a seizure. I knew it wasn't the right thing to do, but I had to medicate him and eventually sedate him. I felt that if I didn't put him out, he'd do more damage to himself. So, I intubated him and then we arrived here." Will took in a deep breath and then got up to leave. Both paramedics followed suit and Will thanked them again for everything. On his way back to Jay's room, Will began to feel dizzy and his vision was becoming blurry. He made it to the doorway before collapsing.

...

"Will, you ok?" Will slowly opened his eyes and moved his aching arms. He tried to stand but Emily wouldn't have that.

"Whoa no. You just passed out. Stay here."

"Emily, I'm not staying sprawled out on this floor. How about I sit up against the door?" She nodded and helped him to a sitting position. Will heard the ding of the elevator and saw two concerned, and slightly angry, women run out.

"You told them?!" Emily responded with a shrug. Natalie reached him first with Maggie right behind her.

"Will, are you ok? Emily, do you have anything to drink? Something with sugar?" Emily sprung to her feet and went for the fridge in the nurse's station. She returned moments later with a Mott's apple juice box. "Sorry, it's all we have."

"It's perfect, thank you. Will, drink it." He'd already ticked her off and didn't want to make things worse. He took the juice box from her and began gulping. He'd forgotten how great liquids tasted.

"When was the last time you ate, Will," Maggie asked? It took Will a minute to figure that out.

"Um, sometime during my shift I think?" His answer got an upset glare from Nat and Maggie busily texting on her phone.

"Will, I'm going to make you a T-shirt that says, 'Will can't do everything himself.' When did you plan on eating, drinking, or sleeping? In order to help Jay, you need to take of yourself first."

"Yeah but.."

"No. Your superman act is over. You're going to accept the fact that you can't do this alone. This is a hospital. There are plenty of qualified people here to stay with Jay while you to attended to your well being." Maggie clicked her phone off and waked over to Will and Nat.

"I've got a meal and some clean scrubs coming up for you. I'm also sending Ethan to your apartment to pack an bag for you. Don't worry, he won't be nosy." Her response earned a smirk and grunt from Will.

"Also, I've got a shower waiting for you when you're ready. Nat and I are going to sit with Jay until you return. And then, sir, you're going to sleep. Emily will wake you up if something happens." Natalie nodded at Maggie's response while gently rubbing Will's back. As much as he wanted to counteract the arrangements, he knew they were right.

"Ok, fine. Thank you guys. I'm just not used to asking for help. I'm the one people turn to for assistance."

"We get it. But we're returning the favor. Also, we're staying here till you eat your entire meal. No buts." For the first time since Jay entered the NICU, Will smiled and laughed, like deep belly laughing.

"I'm just trying to envision this scene as a person walking by this room. You have a grown man drinking out of a kid's juice box on the floor, while being scolded by two women, and a comatose person in the bed above them." This caused all three of them to laugh till tears fell and sides hurt. It felt so good to laugh again.

Will ate his whole meal and then headed for the showers. Jay passed his next test with flying colors, causing Nat and Maggie to throw up some jazz hands and a quiet high five. Will returned as a new, clean man. Both women pointed at the cot and he willingly face planted on it. The mental clock was the last thing that went through his mind. _18 hours down, 30 to go._ Will slept for twelve hours.

The next twenty-seven hours became a blur of sleep, tests, and praises for Jay's progress. However, it was during the forty-fifth hour that everything felt like it was crashing down. Will clung to Natalie's gut feeling and hoped that the miracle's of the NICU hadn't already worked their magic on Jay.

 **Tada! Another lengthy chapter! This chapter intentionally dragged. I wanted to really capture these early phases of Jay's recovery. The next chapter will start to pick up speed. Will Jay make it to the forty-eight hour mark and ever wake up?! Let's find out together.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4- Ouch

Witnessing the victories Jay achieved in his first 24 hours made it easy for anyone to assume that his progress would continue in a straight, upward trajectory. Will knew that recovery from brain surgery, or any surgery for that matter, was a hilly, windy road. Some days would be high points while other days would be trying. Will knew the low moments were coming, he just hoped it was later down the road. The second day of Jay's recovery certainly qualified as a difficult point along the journey.

The day began with Jay barely responding to Emily's questions. He'd be motionless for one exam and then slightly flinch other times. Emily would often hold Jay's hands and stare into nothing in an effort to really feel for a response. It got to a point where Will was hesitant for the next test to begin. Each sluggish or unresponsive result was a reminder that Jay was nowhere near out of the danger zone. When Dr. Abrams came to examine Jay that day, the decision was made to up Jay's drug doses. His ICP was steadily hovering around an undesirable level and Abrams felt it was time to kick things up a notch. It was after Dr. Abrams left the room that Will felt compelled to have a one-sided heart-to-heart talk with his brother.

"Jay, I get that you want to do things your own way and in your own time, but now's not the situation for that. I'm begging you, nix the stubborn act. At least for today. This is your life, Jay. Please cooperate. Can you stubbornly fight to live? Do it, Jay. If not for yourself, fight for everyone that's rooting for you. Hang in there, brother." Unfortunately, Jay didn't progress during the afternoon tests. In fact, it got slightly worse. It was around 11pm, hour number forty-five, that Jay's journey met a fork in the path.

Emily quietly slid Jay's door open so as to not wake up Will. She adjusted the room's lights from dark to slightly dimmed and began her testing.

"Jay, can you open your eyes," she asked if a hushed voice? Nothing. She took her pen light out and opened each of Jay's eyelids, looking for pupil dilation.

"Jay?! Come on bud, blink for me." Still nothing. She formed a fist and began to rub her knuckles against his sternum.

"Jay, please open your eyes." Again, no response. Looking back, Emily wasn't sure what told her to continue questioning Jay. Perhaps it was experience, instinct or just gut feeling. Whatever it was, something told her that getting a response was crucial right here. When pressing on Jay's pressure point between his eyes gave her nothing, Emily knew this was one of those times to wake Will up.

"Will. Will, wake up. You need to be awake for this." It took her nudging him a couple of times for him to become awake and alert.

"What happened?"

"I've tried four times to get a response from him and I'm getting nothing." _No. Not yet_. Throughout Jay's testing, Will had sat back and let Emily do her thing. Tonight though, he couldn't resist the urge to jump in. The first thing that came to mind would be to yell at Jay in an effort to elicit a scared reaction. He was about to suggest the idea when another, more effective, idea popped into head: annoying Jay.

"Do you mind if I try something?"

"Please do. We need to try something, even if it's unusual." Will got up and stood on Jay's right side while Emily went back to holding Jay's hands. _Please let this work_.

"Jay, I want to get your opinion on the seating arrangement for the wedding. I don't know if I should place you at the singles table or put you at the Intelligence table. By the way, are you bringing a date because that'll resolve this issue." Emily gave Will a confused face but Will ignored it and went on.

"Also, we need to get your suit. I know you've been putting it off but it's time. I'll go with you! We'll make it a.."

"Stop! He flexed his finger," Emily interrupted. The two of them let out a massive sigh of relief and Will immediately slid to a sitting position on the floor, running his hands through his hair while fighting off tears. Emily went about changing IV bags while sending out big 'explain yourself' vibes.

"I'm getting married soon and I'm handling a lot of the details. I suspected that Jay was tired of hearing about the wedding but he never said anything so I kept discussing it."

"Well, I guess your suspicions were correct."

"Yeah," Will laughed. Emily waved and headed for the door. She was about to slide the door closed when Will asked her, "Just curious, what finger did he move?"

"Oh, his middle finger." Will snorted and rolled his eyes at her response.

"That's Jay for ya. Thank you, Emily."

"Not a problem. It's my job. Thanks for your help and congrats on the marriage. Get some sleep." She shut the lights off and closed the door. Will walked over to Jay and gently patted his brother's shoulder.

"Thanks Jay. Next time, don't cut it that close." Will shuffled back to his bed and was out in a matter of minutes. Forty-five hours down, three to go. Take that, slim odds.

...

"Hey guys. Thanks for coming."

"Wouldn't be anywhere else. Jay's priority number one," Voight replied. It had been two days since Jay's brush with other side and Will couldn't be more proud of his brother. Since his dramatic episode, Jay crossed the forty-eight hour mark easily and was becoming more alert. In fact, during one of Jay's final tests, he reacted to Emily's pen light by blinking a few times and briefly opening his eyes. The increased doses of steroids and anti-coagulants were all the encouragement Jay's brain needed and the swelling finally decreased. Dr. Abrams gave the go-ahead for Jay's ICP monitor to be removed and the bone flap to be reunited with its' home. Jay had been taken back to the OR a few minutes ago and Will found himself back in the same waiting room where everything began.

While it was only four days ago, Will felt like that dark night was years ago. The emotional rollercoaster he'd been on was trying and dreadful but Will wouldn't have had it any other way. Jay was alive and Will gained a newfound appreciation for the wise doctors and nurses at Chicago Med that got them this far. So many things had to happen at the right moments and these incredible people confidently guided Jay to his victories. While Jay wasn't fully recovered, Will had a hunch that those dire moments were behind them. One day, when everything settled down, Will had a laundry list of thank you notes to write.

Reuniting with the Intelligence Unit felt like catching up with relatives you hadn't seen in years. When Will contacted Voight to update him on Jay's condition and asked if the team wanted to see him after surgery, Voight must've had his phone on speaker because Will was nearly deafened by a loud, unanimous, 'YES!' from the entire team. He knew they'd been anxious to visit Jay since they learned about the accident and was grateful for their patience. During those crucial first couple of days, Will's sole focus was keeping Jay alive. Plus, the last thing he wanted was for the team to visit and the unthinkable happened. Now that things were becoming pretty stable, Will welcomed the visitors. As the team ushered into the waiting room, hugs, positive messages, and apologies were given and everyone situated themselves in the cushy room. While Jay wasn't in the OR fighting for his life, the thought of his skull being operated on made Will uneasy and was thankful for the large support group.

"So why did Jay need another surgery? I thought he was doing better," Adam asked.

"Dr. Abrams is removing the monitor that was tracking Jay's intracranial pressure and also reinserting the bone flap that was removed during the first surgery. As scary as that sounds, it's good news," Will replied.

"Is there any guess when Jay will come out of his coma," Hailey asked?

"Unfortunately, there isn't a definitive answer to that. Comas are as unique as people. It could be hours or days until he regains consciousness. But the fact that he was more attentive and alert during his last tests is a great sign that he could wake up soon," Will replied. The team spent the next hour entertaining Will with memorable stories of Jay on the job. There was the discussion of the time Jay chased a kid literally across the entire city of Chicago only to then talk the kid out of hurting himself. He also heard about the time Jay took down a perp while being stories above a hostage scene and his target area a foot or two wide. Oh, and let's not forget his reaction time had to be instantaneous. Their stories were a much needed reminder of who Jay was before four days ago and what he could be if and when he made it out of the hospital. For days, Will only saw the comatose, fragile Jay Halstead. He relished their stories and had an inkling that his brother would work his way back to that 'legend' status once again. An interrupting knock on the waiting room door came one hour and forty-three minutes after Will watched his brother disappear into the operating room.

"Hi…everyone. Do you want them here for this," Dr. Abrams asked?

"Yeah, they're family."

"Alright then. We successfully removed the ICP monitor and reattached Jay's bone flap. The surgery took a little longer than expected because we found a small bleed and had to correct it. It was probably from the increase of anti-coagulants. He's still on the ventilator but I expect him to get off of it by tonight or tomorrow morning. He fought the vent a little when he was being transported to recovery but stopped after a few seconds. He's looking pretty good; great actually."

"When can we see him," Will asked?

"He'll be leaving recovery in a couple of minutes and then heading up to the ICU. Again, I'll have one of my nurses come get you guys when he's ready. Also, I'd suggest keeping things on the quiet side. He just had his brain operated on and over stimulating his brain wouldn't be ideal."

"Over stimulating," Atwater questioned?

"He is unconscious but we don't know if he can hear us. Too much noise or light or movement around him will encourage his brain to hyper activate and record what's happening around him, which could cause unneeded stress." The team gave a nod as an agreement to Abrams' warning. It was a not-so-friendly reminder of the very real war Jay was still fighting.

…

Once again, Will found himself standing in another doorway looking at his brother connected to life saving machines. He couldn't help but feel like he was starring in _The Truman Show_. Same surgical dressing. Same ventilator. Same IVs and monitoring leads. Same lifeless body lying motionless in the bed. However, what was different was that Jay was on the traditional ICU floor rather than the NICU. As Will and the team were on their way up to Jay, Will realized that he never got a chance to say goodbye to Emily and thank her for everything. He was going to miss her compassion and dedication to Jay's health. Her calmness and laughter during the last few days were welcomed and Will believed they were what got all of them through that stage of Jay's recovery. But, Will was thankful for Jay's progress and was thrilled he didn't require that level of care anymore.

The ICU floor was laid out rather similar to the NICU with the exception that there were more rooms. Furthermore, the rooms were bigger and had seating for families and a bathroom. Will's cot was upgraded to a couch in a corner and he welcomed the much needed plush support. Before letting the Intelligence team in, Will took a seat next of Jay's left side and gently squeezed his hand.

"Hey Jay," he whispered.

"Congrats on making it through your second, and final surgery. Your team is here and is anxious to see you. Don't do anything crazy." Will gave Jay's hand a final squeeze before getting up and letting the team in.

Naturally, they all initially had shocked reactions. This version of Jay wasn't something they were used to seeing and it was a lot to take in. Will wanted them to have the same private time with Jay that he had had the last couple of days. He told them to take their time and went to the nurses' station to look over Jay's chart. It was about thirty minutes into their visit when Antonio stuck his head out of the room with a frantic look on his face.

"Will, get in here. Jay's choking." Will and one of the ICU nurses sprinted into the room and pushed their way to Jay. Jay was semi-consciously grabbing for the tube in his throat while fighting for air. Will tried to hold Jay's hand down but he was quickly losing the battle.

"You've gotta take it out. We'll do more harm if we fight him." By now the team had filed out of Jay's room and were watching from the doorway. Will was able to gain a firm grip on Jay's hands while the nurse deflated the balloon at the end of the tube and slowly pulled the whole contraption out. It was during the application of a cannula under Jay's nose that Will realized patient zero was staring at him.

"Jay?! Hey bud, can you hear me? How are you feeling?" Jay's response was a couple of deep coughs before collapsing on to the pillows and falling asleep. Will turned around to see six stunned faces. Correction, five faces; Voight just stood there staring. Will finished helping the nurse adjust the tube under Jay's nose and tucked him back in bed before talking to the team. _Well, that happened._

"Did he just…wake up," Kim asked?

"No, it was just a reaction to the gagging," Will responded as he closed Jay's door.

"His consciousness was equivalent to sleepwalking: his eyes may have been opened but his mind thinks its' still asleep. I'm sorry you guys had to see that. Extubations are normally not that exciting. Why don't we let him rest for today and we'll try visitation again tomorrow?!" Hugs and well wishes were exchanged and the group headed for the elevator. Will briskly walked into Jay's room and beelined for the bathroom. After emptying his stomach of its' contents, Will flushed the toilet and laid flat on the bathroom floor, hands rubbing his eyes. Out of all the moments of the last four days, that might have been the most intense.

Will's night was one that lacked in the sleep department. He really tried to push through the events of the day but couldn't succeed. Like a broken record, Will would reach that fully relaxed, barely alert step in falling asleep only to envision Jay not breathing and would resurface to being fully awake. A few times, Will went as far as getting off the couch and placing his hand on Jay's chest; feeling it rise and fall. _I've really snapped this time. Will, you've found your limit._ He'd grown accustomed to the artificial breathing of the ventilator and now with Jay independently breathing, the silence of the room was almost frightening. The faux breathing was a steady reminder that Jay was alive and fighting. Now that he didn't have that audible cue, Will had to rely on memories of the past few days to ease his ever present dread.

The next two days were exciting, some would say joyous, in the path to Jay's consciousness. Now that a breathing tube wasn't in his way, Will would wake up to check on Jay and notice that he'd rolled over in his sleep. Then there was Jay's new habit of ripping leads, his cannula, and sometimes, IVs off. At one point, Will was convinced Jay was entirely aware of his actions because it would be minutes between everything being connected and the alarms from the monitors sounding. Will eventually found Jay's kryptonite: tape. Jay's skin had a nice sheen to it by the end of his battle with the removable strings but Will didn't mind. It was the first time he could visually see Jay's stubborn side coming to the surface.

As sun was setting on day 6, Will was in Jay's bathroom preparing for sleep when something made him shut the water off: a sound, more specifically, a voice. It was a very quiet, extremely groggy, and a little sluggish, but it was a voice Will had engraved in his mind.

"Is…th Cub's g-gme on," Jay asked? Will walked over and sat at the end of Jay's bed. He presented himself with two choices: wait for Jay to ask the question again to see if he was actually coherent or, give him the answer he seeks, even if he wont remember. Option two was chosen.

"No bud, the Cub's season is over. They lost in the Wild Card round to the Rockies. Sorry, Jay."

Will sat their for the next couple of minutes hoping for a response, but snores were all he was awarded with. He wanted to kiss his brother he was so ecstatic. Jay spoke! About the Cub's! He remembered something! Will took to Jay's support group group chat, which was becoming great in number, and let everyone know about Jay's first words. Will fell asleep to his phone pinging like a beat to a hit summer pop song. The group's responses were visual reminders that he and Jay really weren't alone in this world. While they may have been the last two Halstead's in Chicago, the people they worked alongside with everyday were unofficial family members. They laughed, cried, and celebrated with each other. They were the ones that were there to comfort when times were tough. And if one person in the pack was in trouble, watch out world. A whole army was preparing to defend their person. While only some of them shared the same last name, in this world they lived, worked, and played in, they were one team, one family. What an adventure. As Will nodded off, he concluded that this was the highlight of Jay's first week. What he didn't know, though, was the surprise Jay's brain had up its' sleeve for tomorrow.

…

Will was replacing the dirty clothing in his overnight bag with fresh garments, courtesy of Maggie, when he noticed two smiling faces at the door. Will nodded for them to come in and Adam and Kim gladly obliged.

"Has he said anything else since last night? He'd freak if he knew how the Bears were doing this season…what's all over him," Adam asked?

"Oh, surgical tape. He's not too keen keeping things attached. It was that or continue to fight him," Will responded.

"Ah, the stubborn ass side of him is the first to reappear. Of course." Adam's comment earned a hard slap and glare from Kim. Will just laughed. Adam couldn't be more on point.

"I'm going to head down to the cafeteria and grab something to eat. I'll be back in a few minutes. You guys want anything?" Jay's visitors shook their heads and Will gave them their alone time. He still hated not being continually by Jay's side. But, he had to admit, there was something nice about getting back into a normal-ish routine.

Adam maneuvered himself into a vegging position on Will's couch while Kim claimed the chair next to Jay's right side. The two of them discussed the case they were currently working and somehow the conversation transition into a silly debate over whether or not a hot dog is sandwich.

"A sandwich is meat between two pieces of bread. Um, isn't that the definition of a hot dog?!"

"HA, no. As you said, a sandwich requires TWO pieces of bread and a hot dog has one section of bread that has been sliced down the middle." From there, condiments, cuts and shapes of meat were used in an effort try and persuade the other. It was during Kim's fine point regarding relish that Adam's eyes got wide and mouth dropped.

"Kim, Kim look." She was mid-sentence when she turned to see a pair of hazy, blue eyes squinting.

"Ouch." Jay whispered while trying to adjust to his surroundings. He felt like he had woken up from the worst hangover ever and his head was pounding. Where was he? Who are these people? What was on his face? He attempted to sit up but something, or someone was instructing him to not move.

"Adam, go get Will. Now. And a nurse. ADAM, GO!" Adam stood there dumbfounded before his senses caught up to his movements. Once he'd registered Kim's demands, he bolted for the elevator. Jay was now trying to remove the tube under his nose but Kim gently pulled his hand away.

"Jay, just stay there. Don't move. Will's coming." Kim kept giving Jay a stop motion with her hands while nervously looking towards the door, hoping Will and Adam would hurry up and get there. By now the nurses were aware of Jay's consciousness and stepped in to help. Despite Kim's commands, Jay worked himself into a sitting position and was trying to pull his sheets off, nausea was rapidly setting in.

"Whoa, whoa Jay stop.."

"Im…I'm gunna.." But before he could try and alert people of the impending doom, Jay's stomach began releasing its' contents onto himself and the bed.

"Oh, oh ok. It's ok Jay. You're ok, just let it all out." It was mainly clear liquids, bile, and whatever other nutritions Jay consumed via his feeding tube. Kim kept rubbing his back while fighting tears. Will had missed Jay's reentry to the world.

It was when the vomiting ceased and the nurse began to clean Jay up that Will and Adam appeared in the room, slightly out of breath. "Elevator took too long," Adam panted as Kim scanned the both of them.

"I-im ssrry," Jay slurred as Will helped remove the soiled hospital gown and replaced it with a clean one.

"Oh don't worry about it. Totally normal. Right?" Will turned to Adam and Kim, looking for their agreement.

"Oh, oh totally. It's rare for me to not wake up retching." Adam's arm received another hard slap for that one. He thew his hands up in a surrender motion.

"Page Dr. Abrams and Dr. Charles," Will asked. Jay had successfully jumped over the first hurdle. Now comes the Everest climb in the journey: how much of pre-injury Jay is in there and what does post-injury life entail.

…

Will was beginning to think the list of people who didn't know about Jay's accident was smaller than the list of those who knew. Dr. Abrams and Charles were about to begin their examination of Jay when Will noticed this consistent glow coming from his phone on the couch. Hundreds of messages were coming in celebrating Jay's latest success. Will humorously considered if a press conference in front of the hospital was necessary. In Jay's room, Dr. Abrams and Charles were situated on both sides of Jay's bed; one on the left, the other on the right. Will chose the observation route and found a spot on the wall to rest against. Abrams started from the top of Jay and worked his way down. Jay's eye coordination and movement was slightly sluggish, but both eyes moved in sync. From there, Jay was asked to make a fist, feel for poking on his arms and legs, and press his feett on an imaginary gas pedal. The results were the same as his eye movements: sluggish, but there. Will pointed out that Jay's right side was not as mobile and responsive as his left, but Abrams remarked that the left side of his brain was still figuring things out. With proper physical therapy, the limpness in that side could regain normal function. With the physical tests out of the way, it was time for Dr. Charles to take the stage.

"My name is Dr. Charles and I am so glad to finally speak with you. Are you up for answering some questions?"

Jay glanced over to Will with a scared, uncertain face. In this moment, Will couldn't help but see Jay as a scared kid being interrogated by upset parents. His eyes would dart across the room, trying to take his surroundings and find something familiar. Jay wouldn't make eye contact with the doctors but would fix his vision on Will, looking for guidance. Without saying anything, Will knew that Jay considered him as a source of truth. He may not have know Will's name or their relationship, but that bond between them survived the accident. Will slightly nodded at Jay, encouraging him to speak.

"Ok."

"Great! First, can you tell me your name?" Again, another look at Will and another subtle nod.

"Jjay Halstead."

"Perfect. That's what I have written down here. Jay, do you know what year it is?" Jay's face became puzzled and it was easy to see his grasping for the answer.

"Um…2018," he asked?

"Two for two so far. Nice job, Jay. Just a couple more questions: do you know where you are?" Jay took another scan of them room before slowly shaking his head.

"That's ok. Don't worry about that. I sometimes lose track of where I am too. Do you know why you have that bandage on your head?" This one took Jay by surprise and as he stared at Dr. Charles before ultimately reaching up to feel the gauze on his head.

"No. Bbut, do…ou know why," Jay slurred.

"Well, you were in an accident not too long ago and you bumped your head pretty good. You're hear at the hospital and the doctors are doing a very good job fixing you up. Jay, thank you for helping me out today. I'll let you get some rest." Jay just stared into nothing as both doctors filed out of the room. Will stood up from his spot on the wall too see them out when Jay spoke up.

"Um…um…"

"Will," Will interjected.

"Yeah…was he tllin th truth? I…I ws in an accident," Jay shakily asked? Will knew Jay didn't need to know all the details at that moment, but he deserved to know the basic of what had happened to him. He sat at the end of bed and took a breath before responding.

"Yeah Jay. You were in a car accident recently. I know it's scary to not know, but I'm here to help you remember. OK? We're going to get through this." Jay simply nodded and Will moved in to give his brother a hug. Will was a classic case of mixed emotions. Happiness, fear, uncertainty were running through his head as patted Jay's back. External injuries were easy for Will to see and fix. It was not knowing the issues in Jay's mind that scared him. Physical injuries were simple. Internal, psychological ones were complex and permanent. Will just prayed this new hurdle wasn't the new normal. It took Jay minutes to succumb to the narcotics' sedative effects. Will untangled Jay's wires and tubing that had become twisted before leaving to learn of the next stage of the game.

By now the entire Intelligence team had gathered around the nurses's station waiting for the run down. Will filled them in on the results of Jay's exams, his responses, and the challenges he now faced. Jay's short term memory was non-existent. His speech was currently compromised and his vocabulary was limited. Balance issues were likely to crop up once Jay got the approval to walk around again. But what really hit home was Jay's lack of right-side movements. He was right handed. He wrote and shot with his right hand. And, it was hard to keep up with perps if you've got a bum leg. Intelligence stood there nodding, taking it all in, and envisioning the unit without him.

"I know this is scary but it is possible for him to recover from some of these deficits. His speech and vocabulary will probably return with time and interactions with people. Same thing with the balance issues and right side, the more practice and usage, it's definitely possible those could correct themselves. The big concern is his short-term memory. There is no remedy or pill for it. There isn't a twelve step program to reverse the damage. It's a wait and see game. Some people have had full restoration of their memory while others have some type of permanent setbacks."

"What can we do to help," Voight asked?

"Be patient. Talk to him. It's amazing the random things that can trigger a memory. Would you guys mind getting together an overnight bag for him? I know he's not keen on hospital wear and I think being in his own clothes will make him more comfortable." Voight took Jay's apartment key from Will and nudged his head towards the elevator, indicating to the team visitation was over.

Will walked them to the elevator before settling back into his designated spot. Jay defied the odds once, why not go for two. Will couldn't imagine a scenario where Jay came out of this drastically different. It wasn't in him. The determination streak ran rampant in his brother and he knew that once Jay understood what he had to overcome, he wouldn't be stopped. So Will sat back and closed his eyes. _Now comes the fun part._

 **Over five thousand words?! Who am I?! A LOT happened in this chapter and I hope you guys enjoyed it. The following chapter will be more…entertaining, let's say. Thank you!**


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5- Jello Hair Gel

 **The fun times are here! Just wanted to give a heads up that this chapter will not flow like the previous ones. Jay's about to go through a lot of things and I want try and hit them without writing one chapter for the rest of the month. Think of it like a retelling of major highlights. Also, I know that a lot of you are anxious for an Erin entrance and I appreciate your patience. Just hang in there, the opportune moment is coming. Let's dive in.**

"I can't be the only one uneasy about this," Hailey confessed as she and Antonio arrived at Jay's apartment.

"What?!" Antonio answered as he fiddled with the lock on Jay's door.

"It just feels like were breaking and entering. A home is a scared place and Jay's not here. Heck, he didn't even ask us to come here."

"Ok?! But we did get permission and were handed a key to the place. We're not doing anything wrong." Antonio opened the door for Hailey and gestured for her to enter first.

"And to answer your question, yes, you're the only one feeling uneasy about it." The two of them paused at the doorway before heading in. It felt like their were walking into a time capsule, a life that was paused. There was evidence that someone lived here, but the place was eerily quiet, lifeless if you will. There were shoes by the front door, some dishes in the sink, and a couch that look sat on. It was weird walking around and matching items to memories of Jay, knowing it'd be awhile before he'd use these things again.

"We should clean up. I'd hate to have him come home to a mess," Hailey said as they took everything in.

"Yeah. Let's pack his bag first." The two of them ventured into Jay's room and grabbed joggers, t-shirts, and the necessary toiletry items before tackling the mess. Jay was normally a tidy, organized person. It was when the team was in the middle of a big case, like Jay's last one, that he'd be too tired to clean up. The two of them made his bed, folded laundry, and tidied up the living room before they split up kitchen duties. Antonio took on the unpleasant task of cleaning out the fridge while Hailey rinsed dishes and ran the dishwasher. The two of them took one last look of the apartment before departing. Closing the door felt like a cruel double entendre. The ride back to the hospital was a silent one. Each person hoping and praying that their friend and colleague would find a way back to that way of life.

…

Will quietly tiptoed to the door and claimed Jay's overnight bag from Antonio and Hailey. Jay was normally a light sleeper but today, adjusting on the couch made him jolt awake. Jay's brain was like a computer that was fighting a virus: much energy is needed because a lot is being drained. His brain's rebooting process was quick at first, but would eventually allow him to be alert for more than a couple of minutes.

"Thanks guys, really appreciate you doing that," Will whispered while he slid the door halfway closed.

"Has he woken up at all," Antonio asked?

"A couple of times. He's pretty weak right now and the pain killers are really making him drowsy. The times he's been awake, he's just says hello, asks for the time, and then falls back to sleep."

"The time," Hailey questioned?"

"Yeah, he's trying to reestablish his sense of time. It's common for people with brain injuries. They've been unconscious for so long that their circadian rhythm, or body clock is out of order. People ask for a day, month, or the time in an effort for understand the world going on around them. It's fairly normal at this stage of the recovery."

Will thanked them once again before slowly slinking his way back to his chair. It was such a different feeling looking over Jay than it was a week or so ago. He's was no longer a lifeless body lying in a bed. His bed was raised to a forty-five degree angle in effort to help with the lingering swelling and ever-present headache. Jay's eyes would often twitch under his eyelids and he'd occasionally smirk in his sleep. Will still couldn't believe how far Jay had progressed thus far and was glad to be seeing him sleep, knowing he was healing rather than fighting. The nurse waved at Will, signaling Jay's next check-up, and slowly shuffled in. She tried her best, but Jay's eyelids lazily pried opened and he stared her down.

"Hey," Jay groggily commented.

"Hi Mr. Halstead, good to see you awake again. Just gotta do a quick check of your reflexes. Jay was still unaware of why he had to go through with this circus act but he willingly obliged. She waved her finger in his face to observe eye movement and used a needle to watch arm and leg reflexes. Once complete, she held up shot of dilaudid.

"How bad is the pain? Do you need another dose?" Jay shook his head.

"Jay, cmon, your body can't heal if its' too busy reacting to pain," Will told him.

"No, I dnt want it. It makes me…um.."

"Groggy," Will broke in?!

"Yeah."

"Well, that's not entirely the drugs fault." Jay still said no. Will shrugged his shoulders and the nurse put the syringe away. Will knew you couldn't give conscious patient's drugs against their will. In that moment though, Will wished that wasn't a rule. The nurse left the room and Will picked up Jay's bag and placed it on the end of the bed.

"Antonio brought some of your clothes over. Do you want to change?" Jay responded by sitting up and attempting to rip his hospital gown off, leaving Will giggling at the realness of Jay's struggle.

"Whoa, whoa hang on. I need to untie the back first." Will loosened the knots on the gown and laid out an outfit out for Jay while he shed his unwanted attire. Will then disconnected Jay's wires and IVs, allowing him to change freely. It was amazing to witness Jay instinctively put his arms through his shirt sleeves and push his head through the top. Will fixed the gauze on Jay's head and went to place the gown in a hamper. Jay grabbed his sweatpants, pulled the sheets off, and noticed something…different.

"Uhh….what, is this," Jay asked?! Shoot, the catheter. Will was hoping to avoid this conversation. Not exactly something you want to discuss with your brother.

"It's what people, with your kind of injury, use to..relieve themselves."

"No. Take it out." Will couldn't help but notice the lack of slurring and stuttering from Jay.

"Jay, if I do that, I'm going to have to help you with…that," Will replied as he pointed to the bathroom.

"I don't want it." And so a few minutes later, with Will's guidance on its' removal, Jay was catheter free and fully clothed. Will handed off the contraption and its' accessory off to a nurse and settled in for the night. If this was just the early portion of Jay's recovery, Will could only imagine what the upcoming weeks and months entailed. _He's going to be the death of me_. It was three hours later when Will awoke to a giant thud, following by groaning and monitors beeping.

"Jay, what are you doing?!" His stubborn brother had attempted to walk himself to the bathroom but instead, discovered why he was in bed in the first place. Jay had managed to get himself in a sitting position at the edge of the bed and stood up; correction, tried to. His balance at the time was that off and his legs were greatly weakened. Jay had managed to take one small step before crashing to the floor, IVs and wires ripping out as a result. Will helped his brother back onto the side of the bed and started wiping the blood dripping down Jay's forearm where IVs used to be.

"What, wht is wrong wth me?! This is new."

"It's your accident. Your brain is a little messed up right now and it's not ready for you to walk around." He looked up to see a scared Jay.

"Hey, don't worry, it'll come back." Will took Jay's right hand and helped his brother back into a standing position. The two of them clung to each other and ventured into the bathroom. Jay again tried to stand on his own but Will wasn't having that. He promised to not look while Jay went. IVs and wires were reattached and both brothers settled back into their respective beds. Will was nearly asleep when he heard Jay.

"My head really hurts."

"Ok, I'll go get the nurse." He was so proud of his brother. It was Jay's way of admitting defeat and asking for help. This was a new side of Jay and Will found it rather refreshing.

A couple days later, Jay got to see his scar for the first time. His incision had healed enough to wear he no longer needed the head wrapping part of the bandaging. He sat quiet and motionless while the nurse removed the tape and gauze. The bruise around the left side of his face was nearly faded and patches of peach fuzz hair had begun to sprout.

"Cn, can I see," Jay asked? Will could tell that Jay was nervous but applauded his brother's bravery. It was still uneasy for Will to see everything and he wasn't the one operated on, twice.

"It's a lot to take in, are you sure?" Jay made direct eye contact with Will and nodded his head. _Here we go_. Jay was handed a mirror and he stared at his reflection for a minute before speaking.

"Will it..grow back?"

"Yeah, bud. It'll be a few months though. Don't worry, it's winter and hats are very much in style."

"Oh, ok. At least it looks cool." Will rolled his eyes. _There you are Jay._

…

Over the coming days, Jay became more alert and therefore, was more talkative. Early on, it was like someone had rewound Jay's mental tape back. He'd ask the simple of questions of where he was, what day was it, and if he could leave. As the weeks progressed and his mind began to retain things, Jay went for the bigger questions like what he did, why was he here, and when he could leave. It was odd having to retell the life of Jay Halstead to Jay Halstead. Then came the tough questions. There was one time when Jay asked when his parents were coming and Will had to deliver the news that that never happening.

"Jay, Mom and Dad died. Mom passed away a few years ago and Dad died earlier this year. It's just you and I."

"Oh. So are we…related?"

"Yeah, we're brothers. Do you know my name?" Jay thought about it before ultimately shaking his head.

"It's Will."

"Oh, OK." Jay just zoned out after that and fell asleep. This was his common answer to things. Will assumed this was Jay's way of processing information. There wouldn't be any emotion behind him saying it. It was as if hearing it was enough to satisfy his curiosity and further information wasn't necessary. Out of the many questions Jay asked repeatedly, this was one he didn't ask twice. But, the answer that really resonated with Jay involved her. Visiting hours were over one day and Intelligence had just left the room. During their visit, Jay kept looking towards his door and was quiet for most of the time. He never said anything, but Will knew something was bothering him. He waited till it was just the two of them to investigate.

"You were pretty quiet today, are you feeling OK? Any spike in the pain?"

"Is Erin OK? She hasn't been here yet." Will paused on this one. Should he tell the truth and risk really upsetting Jay or simply lie. He remembered that Jay trusted whatever he told him and Will didn't want to ruin that connection. He had no other choice.

"Jay, she's not coming. She doesn't live in Chicago anymore. She took a new job in New York and has been there for eighteen months. I'm sorry man." Jay nodded and inspected the IVs in his arm. She was his world, his person. He was about to ask her to marry him when he went home to an empty apartment and a single picture of them on the floor. It took Jay a good long time to accept that she wasn't coming back. Her departure was the final nail in their relationship coffin. They were no more.

"Jay, are you OK?"

"Yeah. I think I need another dose of pain meds." Will patted Jay's shoulder before going to get the miracle medication.

…

Jay's first time walking independently brought tears to Jay, Will, and pretty much everyone on his medical team. He'd been using Will as a crutch for several days now and his trips would only be to and from the restroom. But now, it was time to discover a whole new world: the hospital hallways. It was simply a miracle to see Jay up and mobile only thirteen days after the accident. His maiden voyage was a shocking, visual reminder of how quickly the human body can become weak and stiff. Before that night, Jay could run five, six miles a day without wearing himself out. He was an extremely coordinated person and had ninja-like reflexes. But now, it didn't take much to wear him out. Will walked alongside Jay, pushing his IVs cart, while Jay's hand hovered over the railing that lined the hallways.

"Why is this so hard?! I know how to walk, but can't move my legs."

"It's fine. You're doing great! Keep in mind that you were on life support thirteen days ago." Jay placed his hand on the rail, indicating it was time to pause.

"I just want to be normal again." Tears started forming in Jay's eyes. He was frustrated. He didn't know what was going on. He wasn't entirely sure why he was here. But most of all, he couldn't understand why one side of him was limping worse than the other. Will gave him a hug and the two of them stood in that hallway, crying.

"Come on, let's get you back in the room."

…

Jay's time in the hospital was often difficult, other times victorious, and occasionally, hilarious. As Jay's brain went about reestablishing synapses with its' intended neurons, new likes, dislikes, and temperaments became know. Jay's emotions were like a swinging pendulum: one minute he'd be happy or content and the next he'd be deeply depressed or frustrated. One time, Will awoke to sobbing at three in the morning. Jay had had his first nightmare since the accident and was genuinely scared. It took Will talking him through the traumatic episode and sitting at the end of Jay's bed for him to eventually fall back to sleep. Will was well aware of these kinds of events and the likelihood of them happening. A brain that has gone through Jay's type of injury has to go through a download process. During its' rebooting stages, the brain has to re-experience an emotion in an effort to process things and rebuild its' stability or normalcy levels. Unfortunately for the person, that means you're consistently flooded with feeling every emotion. Will understood that it was OK for Jay to have uncharacteristic moments. He just hoped everyone who visited knew that in order to return to normal, the brain has to be out of sorts for a bit.

One of the lighter moments in Jay's early re-discovery stage came from eating Jello. Jay had been taken off a feeding tube and was given the approval to start eating soft foods. His first meal was a pre-packaged cup of red Jello. Will decided to partake in the ceremonial first meal and things didn't go quite as he'd imagined.

"What is this and why is it wiggling," Jay asked, completely stumped by the red blob in the container.

"It's Jello, Jay. Come on, you lived off that for a summer one year. You'll like it." Jay hesitantly dipped his spoon into the red goo and pulled out a decent chunk. The Jello was in his mouth seconds before he spit it back into the cup.

"Ugh. That's so…um…ew. It tastes like something you put in your hair." Will completely lost it, crying laughing while Jay glared at him, horrified.

"I'm not being funny. That isn't food." Will eventually wiped the tears away and collected himself.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh at you. But that's a definite first. I've never heard someone refer to Jello as hair gel." That was the last time Jay saw Jello during his hospital stay. The medical team chuckled at the special note in Jay's chart: "No Jello. He REALLY hates it."

…

Will was amazed that it took his brother two weeks to figure out where he was and ask to leave. It was during lunch time and he and Jay were enjoy a fine meal of PB&J and Coke. It was a Jay special request and the hospital staff made it happen. The ICU had a mantra: "whatever makes the patient happy made them happy." If Jay wanted to have steak and a Mariachi band, Will wouldn't have been surprised if he had to going through the deafening experience with his brother. Fortunately, Jay's requests were on the conservative side. The two of them ate their meal and Will was disposing of their plates he said it.

"You know what I would love to have?! A deep dish from _Lou Malnati's_." Will figured this was Jay's way to asking to leave without actually saying it.

"We could get them to deliver, but we can't go there. How 'bout when you get out? That's the first place we'll go." Jay simply shrugged his shoulder and laid back on the bed. From there, Jay's food strike escalated till he refused to eat anything inside the hospital. Will finally caved and called in the team for help.

It became a game: figuring out what you could smuggle in without getting caught. Will reached out to Voight and asked if someone could bring in pizza for Jay and the team took it a little too far. If Jay couldn't go the outside world, then the outside world was coming to him. The first night, Jay finally got his deep dish. The next day he received the best spaghetti and meatballs from _Harry Caray's Italian Steakhouse. Portillo's_ hot dogs, tacos from _Traspasada_ , and somehow, someway, an entire steakhouse meal from _Gibson's_ all found their way into Jay's room without being confiscated _._ Hailey was the legend behind the steakhouse dinner and Jay's appetite came back. Will failed to tell Jay that the game was slightly rigged—Will knew what was going on and he'd alerted hospital staff of the game—but he didn't care. Jay was happy, distracted, and entertained for a time. If that's what helped Jay recover, then those caring for him didn't mind bending the rules. Speaking of games, perhaps the highlight of Jay's hospital stint came at the hands of Adam Ruzek.

In the beginning, Adam's game was simple: get Jay to remember something before the accident. He wagered that whoever was successful at getting Jay to audibly recall something would receive a case of beer. At the time, it sounded fun. Intelligence played along, except Hank. His excuse was that he didn't bet on people's livelihood. However, as is common amongst this competitive group of people, it became an all out battle. Hailey and Kim bailed when the wager grew to five hundred dollars and three cases of beer. Antonio finally waved his white flag when the pool grew to eight hundred dollars and five cases of beer. So it came down to Adam and Atwater. Two men, one thousand dollars, and six cases of beer. Let the dueling begin.

The Intelligence unit at this point partly visited the hospital just to spectate the duel. It was like watching a tennis match: Adam or Atwater would serve the question ball and await for Jay to volley back. Excited faces, gasps, and wide eyes were common from the peanut gallery

Atwater came close when he discussed Jay's sniper perch during his last case, but Jay eventually admitted that he didn't remember anything. And then, it dawned on Adam. He knew it. Why didn't he think of it sooner. Why didn't say one think of it?! It was brilliant. So Adam played his cards and waited for the perfect moment. The moment arrived on day sixteen of Jay's hospital stay.

"Jay! How are doing today?!" The team couldn't help but notice the pep in Adam's step and his extra happy demeanor. Something was up.

"Um…fine," Jay replied. His pain was pretty bad that day and the increased doses made him rather out of it.

"Jay, today is Friday and I was planning on.."

"Whoa, Adam. How many times do we have to say it, don't talk about weekend plans." A collective gasp rang out. Game over. Check mate. Adam was victorious.

"What…did I say something?!" Poor Jay was totally confused.

"Oh, oh no. You did nothing wrong." Adam leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs and putting his hands behind his head.

"It's just that I got you to remember something and Atwater owes me my weekend plans." Kevin threw his hands up in surrender.

…

The day finally arrived. Jay was given the go-ahead to begin physical training. Ever since his frustrating first stroll, Jay fell into a routine of walking around the entire ICU floor. He became an icon on the floor. He befriended all the nurses and doctors. He always stopped in to check on patients in the other rooms. But now, the walking stage was over and Jay could not wait to really start pushing himself. By now he'd shed all the monitoring wires and had two IV ports remaining. Those wouldn't come off till he was discharged. For the last week, he asked—or pleaded—for Will to sneak him into the training room. It was like dealing with a toddler on a long car ride. Everyday, he asked the same thing: "so, when can I start working out." At the time, Will was a little frustrated with Jay's broken record questioning. Looking back though, it was just another layer of Jay coming back to life.

The physical therapist was a young, super fit guy named Brian and he specialized in pushing his patients. Jay was ecstatic about the tough regimen. Will, not so much. The first time they met Brian, his opening comment was, "you ready to kick your injury's ass?" Jay happily nodded his head. Will simply covered his face with his hands.

Perhaps it brought back memories of the Army. Maybe the drilling comforted Jay. Whatever the case, Jay ate up the work and was soon jogging half a mile a day and lifting ten to fifteen pound weights. Will sat outside the training each time and prayed for the hour of torture to be over. It was true that Jay was very much stable and his pain was under control. However, Will knew that setbacks can happen at any time. The brain needs time, a lot of time, to heal itself. Unfortunately, Will's worry came to fruition.

Jay had just wrapped up another boot camp training session and slowly walked out of the gym. Jay's face was expressionless and Will couldn't ignore the feeling that something was wrong.

"You ok Jay?"

"Huh?! Yeah. Just a little tired, that's all." On the elevator ride back to the ICU, Jay kept squeezing the bridge of his nose, but swore nothing was wrong. He made it to the end of his bed before going limp.

"Jay! Jay, can you hear me?!" Nothing. _Please no_. Will rolled Jay on to his back and began scanning for clues. Pupils were equal and reactive. Ears weren't bleeding. Heart and lungs sounded normal. Will was in the process of removing Jay's shoes when he started blinking.

"Jay, can you hear me? Don't get up."

"My head kills. It's never been this bad. I'm gunna be sick." Will raced to get a pink bucket and threw it under Jay's mouth seconds before he started vomiting, violently.

"Somebody get him some morphine. Page Dr. Abrams," Will shouted as he rubbed Jay's back. Minutes later, Jay was in a morphine induced sleep and was transported to a CT scanner. Will sat outside the imaging center praying for the best, but also bracing for the report of an aneurism. Dr. Abrams appeared an hour later and sat next to Will.

"Please don't say it."

"Ok, we can sit here in silence for the rest of time." Ah, another Dr. House esque comment.

"Anyway, his CT scan was clear. There isn't any bleeding on his brain and everything looks good. I'd call that episode, 'hitting a wall.' He needs to take it easy the next couple of days. His brain met its' max and started panicking." Will thanked Abrams and was soon taking an elevator ride back to the ICU with Jay, passed out on a gurney. It was a couple hours later that Jay stirred.

"Hey. Did I die?"

"Not yet, but you came close. Jay, you need to accept that things are different. You have to stop pushing yourself too much. Your headache was the result of doing too much too quickly. That could've been a lot worse." Jay looked away and huffed.

"I refuse to stay in here forever. I feel fine, can I just leave already?!"

"No, you pushing yourself just set you back a couple of days. You may feel fine, but you're not. Jay, you have to listen to the nurses, doctors, and me. You're recovering from a major trauma. Give your body time."

"At some point, someone is going to fill me in on why I'm here in the first place." On that note, Jay rolled over a fell back to sleep. Will knew he was right: he needed to know what happened.

The next two days, Jay slept and willingly asked for doses of morphine. It was Jay's way of admitting Will was right without actually saying it. Will wasn't sure if he was proud of his brother or pissed at his stubbornness. During these days, visitors were prohibited and physical therapy ceased. It was just Will, sleeping beauty, and figuring out when and how to tell Jay everything.

…

"Jay…hey…want to see something cool?" It was nearing midnight and Will couldn't sleep. He'd gotten an alert on his phone that the first snowfall of the year was happening outside. He'd honestly lost touch with the happenings of world outside the hospital walls. Thanksgiving had come and gone and the Christmas spirit was supposedly in the air. Jay lived for this time of year. Pre-injury Jay loved standing outside, watching the first snow flakes hit the ground. Regardless how he felt about it come March, Jay often referred to the first snowfall of the year as magical, peaceful, cool. Winter was no longer coming, it had arrived.

"What time is it," Jay asked through a yawn.

"It's late and I'm feeling rebellious. Want to join in with me?"

"Sure."

"Great! Put this coat on, and these shoes. You're going to need them." The brother's roles reversed on the way to the secret destination. Will was the one getting antsy while Jay stood still, side eyeing his brother and wondering what his deal was. They rode the elevator to the very top level and walked down a long hallway to the stairwell. From there, it was a quick flight up to the door for the roof.

"Watch your step when you get to the top."

"Yeah, yeah."

"Excuse me, I'm trying to avoid keeping you here for another month. And you should be thanking me, I'm breaking so many rules by bringing you up here."

It was magical. The air was crisp and the wind had that snow smell to it. Surfaces were lightly dusted by now and the snow shower was so perfect, you'd have thought it was a movie set. Home Alone's Christmas morning scene would've been jealous. The city looked stunning with that ominous glow backlighting the small flakes. Jay walked to the roof railing and gazed up, feeling the snow prick his face. This was his first time inhaling fresh air and he took full advantage. The Chicago skyline made him gasp. The lights of the city were magnificent. Willis' Tower was dressed in green this evening and proudly stood out against her neighbors. The rest of the city shone like twinkling stones. It appeared that every light was on high this evening. The park in the foreground of the city was becoming whiter by the moment and was the perfect contrast to the dark, multi-dimensional city outline.

"You like it," Will asked?

"It's awesome," Jay replied, still mesmerized by Chicago's beauty.

"This might be my favorite view of the city. This is where I escape to when things are tough at work, or I just need a breather. It reminds me that in the realm of things, there is beauty in this world." As he was talking, a couple of sirens wailed and car horns blared. The city was alive tonight, even in a snow storm.

"I want to get out there and experience it. It's the best view in the world." Jay looked over to a beaming Will.

"What."

"Oh nothing, it's just that you would've said something like that month ago." Jay turned his head back to the city.

"How could I not? It's cool." It was time.

"Jay, you want to know what happened?" Jay nodded and the two brothers slumped into a sitting position, backs up against the railing wall. Will told him everything, from the driver who hit him to the rescue to the craniotomy and the forty-eight hour window, everything. Jay never interrupted and would often nod, signaling that he was listening. It all sounded like a movie. So many coincidences fell perfectly in line and he somehow, someway came out the other side relatively unscathed. He finally understood why everyone was so happy to see him. His last month was nothing short of a miracle.

"Will I ever get back to the way I was before the accident?"

"Probably not. You've come along way, but some things are gone."

"Like the strength of my hand."

"I don't know for sure. It takes time."

"Will, be real. Can I shoot a gun with my hand?"

"Gut feeling, no." That one kept Jay quiet for a moment. He was somewhat aware of what he did for a living and knew it included carrying a weapon. Without the use of his shooting hand, how could he go back to being a cop.

"Ok. Thank you, Will."

"For what?"

"Everything. It sounds like I've been a big burden for awhile. I'm sorry you've had to experience it all. I'm the one it all happened to and I can't remember any of it." Will looked over to Jay and smiled.

"Anytime. And for the record, you weren't a burden…the entire time. Come on, let's get inside before we both develop frost bite."

 _Another chapter in the books. How's everyone?! Hope you enjoyed the glimpses into Jay's recovery. Next chapter, freedom. Thanks for reading!_


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6- The Lefty Legend

The dawning of December 6th, 2018 was the light at the end of Jay's hospital stay tunnel. Four weeks and three days after the darkest of dark nights, Jay Halstead was being released. He could barely sleep the night before. He was excited, anxious, and a little nervous to leave the only place he currently knew. But those feelings quickly passed, there was a whole world out there waiting for him.

Will was given the heads up of Jay's release a couple of days prior. He, Dr. Abrams, and Dr. Charles were amazed at the progress Jay had made. What usually required a five or six week hospital stay, Jay accomplished in four. The group collectively agreed that Jay had reached the point in his recovery where continuing to stay in the hospital would harm his progress. Jay was ready to leave the controlled environment of the hospital and enter the crazy, uncontrollable world. Will threw out the idea of taking Jay on a quiet, secluded vacation and the team gave the go ahead. It was the perfect way to ease Jay back into a normal routine without the busyness of city living. Flying to a remote location was out of the question and Will wasn't sure how Jay would react to a long car ride. So that left traveling by train, and Will knew the perfect place: the forests of northern Wisconsin. So he purchased two train tickets, found an AirBnb, and waited to surprise Jay with their next adventure.

"Will, I can put my own shoes on." Will stepped back and threw his hands up. Antsy Jay was present this morning.

"Chill. They're getting the discharge papers ready and you still have to meet with Abrams." It was weird seeing Jay in street clothes. For the last month Jay's wardrobe consisted of hospital gowns and lounging wear. Seeing him now in jeans, a sweater, and a jacket made him look out of place, finally. Abrams made his grand entrance while Jay was getting his final IV port removed.

"You ready to get outta here?!" Jay nodded, holding a cotton ball on his arm while the nurse secured a bandaid.

"Ok, first thing. You are to get ten hours of sleep a day. That means a full nights sleep and a nap during the day. You may be feeling normal, but in reality, you've still got some healing to do. Don't push it. Also, no drinking for a year. Not even a little bit. Alcohol does enough damage to a healthy brain. Yours is out of commission for awhile. Here's your prescription for Percocet. Take it every four hours when the pain is bad. You'll need to be on those for another month and then you can rely on Advil. Also, your stitches have all fallen out and the incision looks good. Keep the area clean and hats are permitted. Finally, you're required to have bi-weekly follow up visits with Dr. Charles for the next eight weeks so schedule those when you get back into town. Any questions?"

"Working out?!"

"Take it easy. You already know what happens if you don't. Just go easy for the next week and then gradually build as long as you don't have any pain, dizziness, or weakness." Abrams thrusted a clipboard into Jay's hands.

"Sign on the bottom line and you, are free to go." Jay took one last look around the room. This was his world. It was the only place he knew. He'd forever be grateful for the dedication, kindness, and wisdom of the doctors and nurses, but he was ready for this chapter to be over. He took the pen, shakily signed, and looked to Will. It was time to say goodbye.

"I can't believe you talked me into this. I injured my head, not my legs." Will rolled his eyes in an exaggerated way. Jay sat awkwardly in the wheelchair while Will handled their two, rather bulky, bags.

"Hospital policy brother."

"When these elevators doors open, I'm getting up and walking."

"Whatever." The calming 'ding' sounded and Jay sprung to his feet. What the two brothers saw on the other side of the doors took them by surprise. Everyone from the 21st precinct, House 51, and the majority of the Chicago Med staff were packed into the ER, waiting to see Jay out of the hospital. There was a thunderous applause and cheers as the brothers filed out of the elevator.

"Did you know about this", Jay asked?! Will shook his head. It was a beautiful sight. For weeks, their support was felt via text messages and phone calls. But to see them all here, taking the time to see Jay off, it was touching. Will loved this family. Hand shakes were exchanged and well wishes were spoken. Maggie pulled Jay aside and gave him one of those signature hugs.

"I'm so, so proud of you. Take care of yourself, I don't want to see you in here again. Deal?!"

"Deal." Jay waved goodbye to the crowd and headed for the doors with Will in tow. A blast of crisp winter air welcomed them back. Jay didn't remember coming in through those doors, but he definitely wanted to take in this moment. This was something he'd never experience again. It was a sunny, freezing, perfect December day in Chicago. The snow from the storm was pushed onto the sides of the roads and people were busily walking to their destinations. An ambulance was pulling up, sirens silent and lights flashing. A doctor and nurse stood outside, grabbing their sides, seeking warmth. In the distance, Jay could hear police sirens howling and the L rattling on the tracks. Ah, the heartbeats of the city. Will stood there with Jay for a couple of minutes before interrupting the moment.

"You ready?!"

"Yeah. Where are we going?"

"Eau Claire, Wisconsin." And so the Halsteads scooped up their belongings and headed for the subway. Just two guys immersing into the crowd.

…

There are two types of people that ride on the subway: glum complexioned residents and smiling tourists. Today's trip to Clinton Station was no exception. The Halsteads claimed a railing spot in the middle of the train and balanced their way to their destination. Will was a seasoned pro at maintaining a perfect standing position. Jay, God bless him, was taken by surprise a couple of times. Each time he'd recompose himself, his face would turn beet red. Will chose to not react or say anything. It was easy to see that Jay was trying to play it cool and Will didn't want to hurt his mojo. On the way to their destination, Jay would swivel between the windows on opposite sides of him, pointing things out along the way. He really tried to bottle up his excitement. It was like watching a teenager externally be unfazed but internally, they were a ball of happiness. It was a twenty-five minute ride to the station and soon the brothers were on the platform, heading for the stairs. Will couldn't help but laugh at Jay's broadway like, spin-around-and-stare-at-this-hectic-place reactions. He guided Jay to the sideline and the two of them briskly walked the two blocks to Union Station. While Will picked up their train tickets, Jay intentionally hung back and scanned the crowd.

"Will, why are people staring at me?"

"They're not Jay. Just forget about it." This was another aspect of Jay's injury. He'd have to reacquaint himself with strangers. Because he didn't know who they were, he was scared. It would take time and interactions to overcome this newfound fear. Will wanted to shrug it off in an effort to encourage Jay to do the same.

Their itinerary was to take an Amtrak train from Union Station in Chicago to Union Depot in Minneapolis. From there they'd take an Uber to Eau Claire. Will held back the driving part of their journey for the time being. He wanted them on their way before breaking the news.

Jay for the first hour was a little uneasy but desperately trying to mask it. He'd look around the train car and then revert to looking out the window. The route to Minneapolis was like something out of a book. Everything was covered in snow. The landscape would go from flat farmland to deep, dark forests. Will had never done this trip before and was kicking himself. Simply, the world around them was stunning.

"Ok, I can't hold it in. I feel like I'm going to be sick or something," Jay finally blurted out.

"No, you're not. It's ok to be uneasy. You've done a lot more today then you've done in awhile. Just try and fall asleep." Jay obeyed and in no time was passed out. Like, mouth slightly open and slumped over on Will's shoulder. Will so desperately wanted to take a picture. It was during dinner that Will broke the news.

"So…when we get to Minneapolis, we are taking a car to our final destination. Please don't be mad." Will said this with a wince at the end.

"Why would I be mad?!" That came out a little muffled due to Jay's mid chew.

"Because the last time you were in a car.."

"Will, I don't remember the last time I was in a car. I can't avoid them forever, right?!

"Well look at you being all mature and thoughtful." Jay replied with a grunt and shrug and the two resumed their scrumptious meal of stir fry. A few hours later, the train pulled into Union Depot. It was a bit of a dash to the Uber. As cold as Chicago is, Minneapolis is ten times colder. Soon they and their belongings were secured in the vehicle. An hour and a half drive stood between them and their destination. Will kept looking over at Jay during the drive, praying he wouldn't have a meltdown. Instead, Jay made small talk with the driver and pointed out landmarks along the way. Will should have know. Jay wasn't one to dwell on setbacks. He was amazed at how quickly he picked up talking to people again. It wasn't in Jay to be isolated from the world.

…

"TA-DA! What do you think?!" An early 1900s farmhouse stood in front of the Halsteads. It was a white, two story house with a wraparound porch. The house sat half a mile off the road on a four acre lot of farmland. The closet neighbor was five miles away. Everything was blanketed in a fresh powdering of snow and the home owners had the home decorated for Christmas. There were wreaths on the front door and windows and plug in candles in every window. This was the quintessential unplug from the world for a bit location.

"It's a little big, but I like it." Stepping into the house was like walking into a home remodeling show. Everything had a touch of modern farmhouse. Walking in, you had a guest suite to the right of the front door and an office on the left. Through the foyer the space opened into a single large room consisting of the dining room, kitchen, and family room. Upstairs housed two bedrooms and bathrooms. The homeowner had gone ahead and packed the kitchen with food and the fireplace had a large stack of wood next to it. A large TV sat above the fireplace and there was tons of blankets overflowing from a basket near one of the two plush couches. The place was perfect.

"Do you want you anything," Will asked as he scanned the goods in the fridge?

"Nah, I'm good. I think I'm going to head to bed. It's pretty late." Jay took his bag and slowly headed up the stairs. It was weird being here. Not in a bad way, but in an unfamiliar one to say the least. As he was brushing his teeth, it was odd staring at himself in the mirror. For the most part, he didn't feel any different. Sure, there was a gaping black hole in his mind right now, but he didn't physically feel altered. The scar on the left side of his head was a ghastly reminder that things would not completely go back his idea of a normal life. He climbed into bed and pulled the covers over him. Maybe tomorrow the sun would bring things into perspective.

Will on the other hand could not sleep. It was a constant dance of tossing and turning in his bed. He was excited to be somewhere else with Jay. He was nervous something bad would happen (as usual). But most of all, he hoped he hadn't made a mistake by bringing Jay all the way up here. His insomnia got so bad that he forced himself out of bed and walked down the hall to Jay's room. Will quietly opened the door to see his brother sound asleep on his stomach, star-fishing it in his bed. _He's fine you idiot. Go to sleep_.

Day one of the trip saw nothing but sleep and vegging on the couch. You'd have thought the two of them hadn't slept in four weeks. Jay was the first to arise at noon. The light revealed the sprawling farmland around him and the quietness of this place. Loud snores grew louder the closer he got the Will's door. Jay ventured into the kitchen and stared into nothing for a good ten minutes. This wasn't a zone out stare but more like gazing into the pantry and fridge hoping for something to jump out at you and say, "EAT ME!" The cereal called to Jay and he gladly accepted. It felt weird and victorious getting his own food. For a month, every was brought to him. It was rather refreshing knowing what you wanted and preparing it for yourself. Even if it was just cereal and milk. Jay was lounging on a couch with bowl in hand when Will half-consciously rolled down the stairs.

"Ugh. How is it that I slept for so long and yet, I'm still tired?!" Will's hair was a messy mop and the bags under his eyes really popped today.

"Wait, did you make something?!" Jay responded by holding up his meal for Will to see.

"Way to go, man." Will followed suit and joined his brother in the family room.

"You look like crap."

"Ditto. What do you want to do today?!" Jay downed another spoonful of cereal before answering.

"I think we should just hang out in here today. You need the break."

"We both do," Will said, mouth stuffed. And that's exactly what they did. It was a mix of television watching and sleeping the remainder of the day. This was such a rarity for both brothers and they planned to make the most every second.

…

Jay was in pain, a good pain. The chilly air was stinging his lungs and his legs were screaming for a break. The finish line was the front porch of the house and there was no way he was stopping. Crossing the imaginary finish line, he threw his hands in the air, smiling as he slowed to a jog. It felt so good to run again. He loved being able to see the world via his legs. Ever since he was young, partaking in neighborhood races brought out his competitive nature. Plus, it was always fun to show off his speed. This was his first outdoor run since the accident and the route challenged him. He and Will mapped out a course each morning. What started as a walk around the yard became a half mile jog through the farmland. By now, it was a two mile jog that transitioned into a quarter mile sprint around the entire property. The two would always begin at the same pace and Jay would at some point pick up speed and just take off. Will wasn't a fan of this kind of exercise, especially in the cold, but if Jay wanted to do it, he willingly obligated himself to wheezing and panting in the freezing temperatures. Will finally came into view as Jay was stretching his tired extremities. His right leg was extra sore but was regaining strength, slowly.

"Who's the one that's recovering from a life altering injury," Jay teased?

"Shut…up…you…jerk," Will spat between deep breaths. Jay laugh and joined his brother on the front porch steps. This was a time when Jay usually opened up and Will just let him speak. Jay was beginning to comprehend the magnitude of what had happened. He would talk about what he experienced while in the coma and even admitted to hearing some of the stuff Will said. While it was like living in two worlds, there would be muffled sounds, or voices that would enter Jay's coma life. Jay vaguely recalled the night of his forty-fifth post-op hour. He was in New York with Erin and they were at a house or apartment. He remembers someone saying something about a date and table seating and Erin started laughing. She advised Jay to go before things got out of control. He didn't want to leave her. He couldn't lose her again. She took his hand and kissed him, promising she'd be there when he got back. Thus the reason for the middle finger movement. It wasn't that he didn't want to hear about the wedding, it was that Will took him away from Erin. She was the reason he didn't die that night. She was why he fought and came back to Will. Will now felt like a creep for telling Jay that Erin wasn't coming. In his mind, he had held up his end of the bargain and was waiting for her to do the same. Jay may have accepted her departure eighteen months ago, but it was clear that he never lost his love for her.

Today though, the topic Jay discussed was a bit lighter. He kept looking at his hands. Trying to squeeze his right hand but getting a weak, shaky grip in return.

"I've been thinking.."

"-I'll alert the media."

"Ha. Anyway, I've been thinking about my hand. Will, I can't not be a cop. I have to figure out a way to get back up to Intelligence."

"Ok."

"So I was thinking about strengthening exercises or something that could encourage the nerves in my hand when it hit me: I do have another hand." Will knew where this was going. Yes, there were left handed police officers, but how many were originally right handed? He loved that Jay was trying to find solutions, he just didn't want to see Jay lose hope if it didn't work out.

"Is that even possible to do? Changing your dominant hand?"

"Yeah, it's just like becoming ambidextrous. It takes some training, strengthening and adjusting, but it is possible. Lefty shooters are pretty rare. But to be someone that switches their shooting hand, kinda makes you legendary. Plus, if my right hand ever goes back to the way it was, that makes everything that much better." There was that twinkle in Jay's eye. Will hadn't seen that in quite some time and was thrilled for its' reappearance. He knew there was no way he could persuade Jay. The determination streak had arrived.

"I think it sounds like a good solution. Go be that lefty legend. Now, can we go inside? I'm pretty much frozen." Jay nodded and both guys headed for the door.

"Thanks for listening, Will."

"Anytime."

The remainder of their time in Wisconsin consisted of Jay exercising and Will mothering. Will one day woke up to find Jay out of bed and feared the worst. He was about halfway clothed when he heard the front door creak open. Will freaked out, to say the least, and Jay just shrugged it off. He didn't get hurt or lost, so where was the problem. From there on out, Will would awaken to a note taped to his sheets that read, "went running. don't panic." The humorous side was resurfacing. Will would also pester Jay into eating three large meals each day. Despite the feeding tube and catered meals, Jay was still thin. Being immobile for so long did a number on Jay's muscle mass and overall weight. Will felt like he was raising a toddler there for a bit. Jay refused to gain all his lost weight back in a single week, stating that healthy weight gain took time and diligence. Jay also started trying to do things to train his new dominant hand. Watching him eat or write with his left hand was a treat. At first, his handwriting was near illegible but eventually graduated to somewhat illegible. Jay would even wrap rubber bands around his hands to build the strength and control in his hand. He'd often do it when they were watching television and it irritated Will to no end. Will was convinced that's why kept doing it. However, despite the events that brought them to this week, Will was glad they got this time together. It had been years since either one of them had quality down time, let alone together. He was appreciative for this trip and was even more elated that Jay was actually present and coherent.

It was during their final night that Jay brought it up. He'd had been quiet, zoned out during dinner and Will shrugged it off. Figured it was another emotional wave episode. When he was still silent as they marched up to bed, Will finally decided to inquire.

"You ok, Jay? You've been really quiet tonight."

"Yeah…um, I want to go see where the accident happened." _Oh man_. Will paused on the step.

"I..don't know if that's a great idea."

"No, I need to see it. I've only heard about what happened and need I to see it to really accept…everything." There wasn't a good rebuttal to this. Jay was right. He deserved to understand what happened. It was his life that was forever altered, not Will's. He just hoped this would've come later on. After a few sighs, Will agreed.

"Ok, we'll go when we get back." Jay nodded and the two of them separated for the night. Both uneasy about the following day.

…

The journey back to Chicago was a soundless, uneasy trip. It was like knowing something bad was going to happen and you couldn't stop it. Of course, the bad deed was already done, but to be at the site of something horrible, it makes one uneasy. Will's stomach grew tighter the closer they got. He frequently exhaled loudly like someone awaiting news on a loved one. Meanwhile, Jay just stared out the window expressionless. The demons of the last month dancing in his head. And if he was being honest, he was scared, terrified to return to the scene of the crime. But wisdom and guts prevailed. He knew that if he didn't do this soon, it would eat him alive.

The sky was a muddled, glum shade of grey. Everything felt tired and silent. The mood of the city was depressing, draining almost. It was as if the city knew what was going on today. Its' missing citizen was returning home to mourn. No more breaks or medication to drown out the problems of the past. Today was the restart of Jay Halstead's life. The subway trip to Roosevelt Station felt like a lifetime. Jay at this point was fixated on the ground, totally encompassed in his thoughts.

"We don't have to do this today, Jay. There's no shame in waiting," Will reminded him.

"No, it's fine. We're doing this." Will gave Jay a reassuring nod before going back to looking out the window. The overhead speaker announced the station and Will and Jay stood. Too late to turn back now. _Here we go._

It was Friday evening and rush hour was in full swing. People were crowding the sidewalks and car horns were blaring, telling the person ahead of them to move. Tourists were four or five people wide, clogging up the momentum of everyone behind. People didn't notice the two men standing still, gazing at the square marking the intersection. To most, this intersection was just another point in their journey. But for Jay and Will, this was the meeting point of life and death, a familiar life and an unknown future. Jay scanned the street, looking for something that brought it all back. A scrape on the painted white lines, glass in the road, something that'll finally make the connection in his mind. But the lines were repainted and glass all swept away. It's odd, to think that people went about their life after going through this intersection while Jay laid in a hospital bed, fighting for a life he now didn't know. But then, Jay looked up and noticed the light. It turned green and the left hand turn light lit up. That's when realization struck. This was real. It was true. This wasn't a scary story or some grand joke. It was at this spot where he intended to go one way, and life literally thrusted him in another direction.

There's apart of Jay Halstead that did die that night. The person in that vehicle, in a way, doesn't exist anymore. Sure, Jay Halstead the person was alive. But the hopes, aspirations, the very core of that Jay Halstead is foreign to this new person. Jay felt like a shell of the guy people said he was. It was as if Jay fell asleep and woke up to a blank book shoved in his face, claiming this was his life. Everything in his past, gone. A blank, unknown life way in its' wake. And that scared him: not knowing who he truly was. Not knowing if he'd ever find that person. Never truly living again. So on that corner of Roosevelt and State Street, Jay Halstead wept. He wept for the life that appeared to be no more. Will pulled his brother in and held him, trying to reassure him before ultimately giving in to the tears as well. They didn't care if people had to go around them or stared. They were mourning, celebrating, and accepting life's next impossible mission: becoming whole again.

And soon the crying slowed and Will spoke up.

"You ready?"

"Yeah, let's go."

 **Hope you guys enjoyed this one. This one was a faster pace than the other chapters, but I hope you guys felt the emotions and moments. Also, I did research if one could change their shooting hand and it is true! Plus, I love that Jay has that reminder of the accident and the changes that came with it. Thank you for reading!**


	7. Epilogue

Epilogue

 **As the title suggests, this is the final chapter of A Night In November. I would like thank all of you so, so much for following along with me. I am so appreciative that you took the time to read this and share your feedback. I am truly humbled and hope you like how everything turns out. To add a little extra something to your reading experience, I would encourage you to read this chapter while listening to 'Insecurities,' by Jess Glynne. It's what I listened to while writing this and I can't help but admit it goes swimmingly with the storyline. Here we go, one final time.**

Its' been five months since Jay and Will stood at that corner in Chicago and life has drastically changed, in a good way. Each month saw Jay take steps, big and small. His first trip back to the 21st precinct was interesting. It was two weeks after Will went back to work and a week after Jay got back into his apartment. He'd run out of things do to and decided to visit the place before he went nuts. As he trudged up the district steps, he was preparing for a witty one-liner from Platt but instead, got a startled reaction and even a hug. Jay thought it was weird, for lack of a better word, but let her do it. Everyone, in some way, was affected by his accident. If that's what helped her heal, then hug away. Rejoining the Intelligence team was like riding a bike. Granted he was only a visitor and on medical leave for the next five months, but they let him sit in for debriefs and kept him up to date with cases. The interaction with everyone made him yearn that much more to get back up there and work for real.

The driver's license was reinstated by month three. Jay was the happiest person to ever leave the DMV. He phoned Will about it and was almost giddy. Another element of freedom was his again. Speaking of phone, Jay also went iPhone shopping. His old one was destroyed in the accident. Will attempted to give iPhone lessons but wound up get advice from Jay. It's amazing what the brain instinctively retains.

Will and Natalie moved their wedding to June 2019. Will couldn't commit to taking a big step in his life while Jay was stuck in his own life problems. Natalie was reluctant at first, but eventually understood and agreed to push everything six months. And Jay was assigned to sit with the Intelligence unit. The singles table was never going to fly with him.

Month four saw Jay get his weapon's certification back. Leading up to test, Jay was a staple at the gun range. Every day around noon, you could count on him being there. He also attended a slew of action simulators in an effort to work out the mechanics of a left handed shooter and improve his reactions. The first weeks were awkward and everything felt wrong. But he persisted and after a bit of time and effort, his left handed shot was—dare I say—better than his right hand. It felt good to get back into the swing things. With every passing day, he felt a little more like himself. Jay simultaneously tried to restrengthen his right hand and it got better, but never returned to its' former glory. Jay was at peace with this. Granted, all his weapons would now need to be customized, but he found a way to overcome his weakness. Will decided to attend Jay's reinstatement test. He wanted to see his brother's crazy notion become a reality and, in typical Jay Halstead fashion, he passed with flying colors. Watching Jay crush it, Will was uber proud of his badass brother. He gave him a giant, dorky thumbs up when the test was over and Jay acknowledged him with a slight cock of the head and a smirk. _The stubborn ass did it_.

The sessions with Dr. Charles were originally schedule for eight weeks, but wound up being five months of intense question, digging, and processing. Early on, Dr. Charles would be a willing ear and just listen to what Jay wanted to discuss. There was so much uncertainty and unknownness in Jay's life at that time and Dr. Charles wanted to hear everything before helping Jay process all that transpired. Jay now has a solid understanding of what happened to him and has accepted his new way of life. No longer does he feel lost or half alive. What happened to him was terrible, but it's just another chapter in his story. It's apart of his life, not his whole life. Furthermore, Jay's short term memory has greatly improved. He now remembers little pieces of that day leading up to the accident. While some things he'll never be able to recall, he's been able to encompass that time with newfound memories. Last week, Jay finally got the yellow piece of paper he's waited months for: the permission slip to return to work. He called Will about it and Will ended up crying while Jay laughed. Jay is scheduled to return to work next week.

Throughout this process though, there's been one checkmark that's been nagging Jay. For months he toyed with the idea. He'd talk himself into it and then back out at the last minute. But he finally came to the conclusion that he had to complete the step. He couldn't close this chapter without writing the ending. And if there's anything he learned from this episode, it's that life is too short and precious to live in regret. So he took a risk, bought a plane ticket, and hoped fate would intervene.

…

It was a stunning, happy May day in the big city. The trees were finally donning their best shade of green and the flowers were budding with color. The harsh coldness of winter had finally released its' grip and welcoming, warmer temperatures were here at last. School buses were parked along the edge of Central Park. Children were enjoying their final field trip before heading into the summer break. The ever present car horns and sirens were wailing, but all this was drowned out by her wandering mind and the music blasting in her headphones. While Chicago was always going to be home, she finally understood why people love this city. There's a dreamer aspect to it. The mantra that if one can make it here, then anywhere else is a piece of cake, really echos through the avenues and numbered streets. This place is big. This place is loud. It is rich in history. There isn't a corner or side street that isn't a living representation of one person coming to this city to fulfill their wildest dreams. And she loved that. There's a beauty in seeing people's dreams become reality. New Yorkers have honed in on the mentality of helping their fellow man. Even if it's picking up a fallen object or adjusting someone's hat, everyone in this city is here to help each other get through their day. The city can be cruel, but the people are anything but.

But that's not what was on her mind today. She tried to think back to the happenings of the day. She and her team were making big waves in the city. Almost every case resulted in great victories. In fact, her latest case lead to breaking up one of the largest sex trafficking rings in New York. Over a hundred young women got their independence restored. She loved her job. She was affecting people's lives on a grander scale, for the better. Thus the victory run up the Upper West Side. Thus the spring in her step. But, she forced herself to think about today in an effort to steer her mind away from what she was really pondering.

What, or who, was really on her mind was him. She still had lingering doubts about leaving things the way she did. She never gave him the chance to say goodbye. But, she knew that if she had seen him again, it would've been hard to leave. There hadn't been any news on him for a month now and that worried her a little. While she assumed the lack of updates meant everything was fine, in the back of her mind, she felt a twinge of uneasiness. She jogged a few more blocks, trying to fell the music in her headphones; anything to block out her thoughts. She was a few blocks away from her brownstone—yay government salary—and wanted to push her time. As she rounded the corner, something, or rather, someone on her steps brought her record pace to a screeching halt.

"Jay?!"

"Hey you." Jay stood up from his spot on her steps and the two met in the middle of the sidewalk. Erin couldn't help but notice how different he looked. Partly because his hair was shorter, a little messier than usual (to fit in with the the still growing hair on his left side) and he was dressed in more casual clothing. But there was something sad, different about him. His smile and demeanor were the same, but there was an air of sadness; a horrible event was in his past that he was overcoming. She saw the same thing in Nadia during her early days working at the precinct. Erin by now had her hands on her knees and was bent a little, trying to catch her breath from the brisk workout.

"What…how…did you know where I lived?!"

"One guess." Erin rolled her eyes and showed that electric smile.

"How is it we aren't in the same city anymore and Hank still finds his way in the middle of us." She pulled herself upright and gazed into those stunning blue eyes she dearly missed.

"So, what are you doing here," she inquired? Erin was wearing Jay's Chicago Cubs shirt and running tights. Her hair was lighter then he remembered. She had her hair in a messy bun, showing off how long her hair had gotten. She was flush and sweaty. Jay thought she looked stunning. He was proud of her for wearing a Cubs shirt in New York. Despite living in a city with two iconic teams, she chose to represent her hometown team. Jay taught her well.

"To get my shirt back."

"Oh, really?! You flew all the way here for a shirt?!" She playfully smacked him and he laughed.

"Ow, don't hurt a man when he's down. But seriously, um, I needed to tell you something and it couldn't be done over the phone. I know it's going to sound cheesy and I know how much you love that…" Erin rolled her eyes. Mushy things irritated her.

"..But bear with me." Jay took a quick scan of the area before starting.

"You're what got me through everything these last six months. When I was in that coma for a week, we had a life together. You told me when to fight and when to relax. It was you who pulled me through even when giving up was the easier choice. And then when I woke up, I kept waiting for you to walk through the door, thinking you'd be there." Erin by now was fighting back tears.

"I'm not trying to make you feel bad or guilty. But you gave me hope and it hurt that my fantasy world was just that, an extravagant dream. The last few months have been fuzzy, but you have been a steady, strong, clear figure in my life. So, I just wanted to say thank you for pushing me and being a reason to want to live." The two of them stood there for a moment, letting everything Jay said sink in. Erin wiped away the now flowing tears and spoke.

"That was…very mushy, but sweet. You're welcome."

"Erin, I can't live a life that doesn't have you in it in some capacity." Erin walked over to the steps and sat down; Jay joining her. She new where this was going.

"Jay, we'll always have the time we had together. But, I can't just up and leave. A lot has happened in both our lives since we last saw each other. I have a job, a life here. So do you. We can't just go back to the way things were.

"I know. And I understand that. But who says we can't start over? Admit it, you miss my smiling face." Erin smiled. She missed this.

"Even if it was purely a friendship, I need to know that you've got my.." But Jay didn't get to finish his thought. Erin turned his head and moved in for a kiss. A passionate, long awaited kiss that she should've given a long time ago. And the two sat there on the steps of Erin's brownstone in the Upper West Side, rekindling their connection.

"Always."

For the second time in six months, Jay Halstead found himself in an uncertain yet hopeful situation. He realized that without that night in November he'd have never had this moment in May. And as Jay sat there embracing his love, his person, he was ok with that.

 _Screen fades to black. End credits roll._


End file.
